God Bless The Broken Road
by Detective Olivia Stabler
Summary: Elliot & Olivia finally take a chance & date. But when life gets in the way & they break up, Olivia decides it is time for a change & relocates leaving El in her past. What will happen when Elliot finally tracks her down?
1. 1 Forbidden Love

_Authors Note:__ This story takes place before the "Cold" episode and includes ADA Casey Novak. _

_**God Bless The Broken Road **_

_**(Chapter One: Forbidden Love)**_

**It was a day like any other day. How was Olivia supposed to know that today would be the day her entire life changed? Elliot and Kathy had been arguing and struggling for months although they tried to make their marriage work. Now, Elliot was having a hard time adjusting to life without a wife and children. **

**Olivia walked in to sit at her desk looking across at Elliot as he sat in his chair with his hands neatly folded staring down at an envelope of papers.**

"**You okay?" She asked nervously.**

**Elliot shifted his eyes up to look at her. He took a deep breath. "My divorce papers," he said looking back down to the envelope. "I have had them for months now. Kathy keeps asking about them. She has actually started dating again. I thought maybe after the last time I came home everything would work out, but it just got worse. I used to worry I would lose her, Liv. Now when I look at her, I know she is already gone. I'm going to take the papers to my lawyer at lunch and sign them."**

"**Elliot, I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you wanted."**

"**Not at first, no. Truth, is that there is so much anger between us, there isn't anything left. A marriage cannot survive like that."**

**Olivia stood up and walked over to him placing a hand on his shoulder in support. **

"**Thanks Liv," he said forcing a smile.**

"**If there is anything I can do you let me know."**

**Elliot nodded. "We'd better get going, if we are late to court Casey will kill us."**

"**Yeah," she agreed. A soft smile surfaced.**

**That evening after work they stood together in front of their lockers putting their things away and getting ready to head home for the evening. Elliot took a deep breath and sighed.**

**Olivia turned to him. "How about some dinner, El?"**

"**Thanks Liv, but I'm not really hungry. I think I am just going to head home."**

"**You sure? I'll buy," she offered.**

"**I don't know."**

**Olivia shrugged. "We can get a few beers and just talk." **

"**Elliot, when ever something bad happens or I have a bad day you always drag me out and buy me dinner and a few beers. You make me sit on the barstool until I am laughing and crying so hard I cannot breathe. You are always there for me when I need someone. Now it's my turn. You shouldn't be alone."**

"**Maybe just for a little while," he accepted.**

"**Good," she replied with a smile as she handed him her car keys.**

**They entered to pub's smoky atmosphere and looked around the room. It was dart tournament night and the place was packed. They seated themselves at the bar to wait for a table. **

"**Well, I guess we are not going to get to talk much here," Olivia shouted over the noise of the crowd and the jukebox playing across the room. "Would you rather go somewhere else?"**

"**No, you love the food here," Elliot shouted as he leaned in toward her. "I'll see if I can catch the bartender and get us a couple of drinks."**

"**Why don't we just eat then we can get some beer and head back to my place and talk?" **

"**That is a great idea."**

"**I'll be right back," she said heading in the direction of the ladies room. "Get me a beer."**

"**Yeah," he agreed. "What do you want to eat? I'll go ahead and order."**

"**Umm…" Olivia stared at the sign behind the bar with the food listed on it. "A salad. Italian dressing on the side." She turned and headed down the hall to the restroom.**

**A few minutes later she returned and sat on the barstool beside him. **

**Elliot looked up at Olivia as she pressed her lips to her beer bottle. "Thank you for coming out here with me tonight. I guess I am still trying to adjust to this single life."**

**Olivia reached over and patted his back. "It will be okay, El. You will meet someone else and be happy again. You deserve more than this."**

"**Thanks, Liv. But after this she would have to be a pretty great woman to even make me think about it. I think I am just going to relax and enjoy being single for a while. Take a break from relationships. I mean I have been with the same woman for twenty years. Maybe it is time for a new Elliot."**

**They both laughed.**

"**But I like the old Elliot," she said with a smile.**

"**Well, he isn't completely new. Just refinished. A few things have been updated."**

"**Oh, okay."**

"**You have any hot friends you'd like to set me up with?" He inquired.**

**Olivia laughed again. "Well, lets see….there is Fin and there is Munch. Which one would you like me to hook you up with?"**

**Elliot laughed.**

"**I spend all of my time with you three."**

"**That is a good point. I was hoping somewhere you had like a hot college roommate or something." **

"**Hmm, let's see. Thick glasses, very studious, not much personality…. That sound like your type, El?" she asked smugly.**

"**And you? What were you like in college?"**

"**Me…I was…confused."**

"**Confused?"**

"**That is a nice word for it."**

"**Oh, do tell!" Elliot leaned in to her begging, for more information.**

"**Elliot!" She laughed.**

"**This confusion….did it involve other women?"**

"**Just when I think there is hope for you, you open your mouth and a statement like that falls out. Then I am reminded that you were born with a penis, so being a pig is in your DNA."**

"**Aww, come on!"**

"**No, I wasn't with other women. I just dated a lot. All men!"**

"**Ahh," he smiled a devilish smile.**

"**I didn't sleep with them….all," she added.**

"**But my roommate never dated and was convinced I was a tramp. Needless to say we didn't get along."**

"**Hard to imagine."**

"**What's that?"**

"**You, hard to get along with," he said with sarcasm. **

"**Shut up!" She laughed as she threw a French fry at him.**

"**What about you?"**

"**What about me?"**

"**What were you like when you were younger?"**

"**I was married with a child by the time I was nineteen, so that kind of changed a lot for me."**

"**What about before that?"**

"**I was a typical teenage guy. That is how I got the wife and the kid."**

**Olivia smiled at him and took a drink of her beer.**

"**So what were these boyfriends like? Typical teenage guys?"**

"**No. I have always been into older men. I only dated seniors, grad students and guys who were already out of school. Actually one of the guys I dated was a professor at another school."**

"**Oh, really? Liv, you bad girl."**

"**Yes and another was married." **

**Elliot gave her a worried look. **

"**Didn't turn out quite how I'd expected," she said looking at Elliot. "Well, I didn't know he was married until after I was dating him. And I broke it off after I found out." **

"**That's good."**

"**It wasn't good trust me."**

"**How did you find out?"**

"**His wife showed up at my dorm and told me she knew I was sleeping with her husband."**

**Elliot looked shocked. "What did you do?" **

"**I invited her in for a beer and called him to come over to my dorm. When he arrived, well he was shocked to say the least. I think I read somewhere that she later divorced him and took all of his money. Needless to say my roommate didn't appreciate a visit from my married boyfriend and his wife at ten o'clock at night while she was trying to cram for a final."**

"**I guess not." Elliot smiled at her.**

**After dinner Elliot drove her back to her apartment. They sat outside on the stairs and talked for a little while.**

"**I really should get going," he said standing to try to hail a cab.**

"**Want to come up for a little while?" Olivia suggested.**

"**I don't know, it's getting late."**

"**It isn't even ten o'clock yet."**

"**I have a lot to do tomorrow. I really should get home."**

"**Come up for a little while. We'll take some beer up to the roof and we can talk. If it gets too late you can crash in the guest room."**

"**Liv, guys stop having sleepovers when they are ten."**

"**Not if they are with girls. Ooh! I'll let you rent dirty movies on my pay per view." **

"**Sold!"**

**They both laughed and headed inside.**

**Olivia grabbed a six pack of beer from the refrigerator and they headed up the stairs to the roof. Her roof access fifth floor apartment had a wonderful view of the city at night. This was Elliot and Olivia's favorite place to go to escape life for a little while and just sit together and talk. They had helped each other through a lot of problems on top this roof. Marital woes, bad break ups and broken hearts. Elliot had often found himself on this roof just providing her a shoulder to cry on after a relationship had ended badly or a date didn't work out so great. **

**They sat together in folding chairs near the patio table with a citronella candle glowing softly between them. They sipped on beer and talked for hours as time slipped away from them. Olivia knew he had a lot on his mind and didn't feel he needed to be alone tonight. And she really enjoyed his company. With everything going on at work and in his personal life lately they hadn't had much time for the two of them. She had missed this.**

**They stood and walked to look over the building's ledge out at the city.**

"**So why don't you have someone, Liv?"**

**She tilted her head to look at him. "I have you."**

"**You know what I mean. You are a beautiful, smart, funny, attractive woman. You should be with someone who makes you smile a lot."**

**She grinned a little at his complements and shrugged her shoulders. "Not really looking, I guess. Maybe I'm giving relationships a break, too."**

"**Why would you do that?"**

"**Oh, I don't know. Every one I have been in has ended so wonderfully."**

**Elliot looked at her. "And you really have not been on a date in months?"**

"**No. But I have been busy at work."**

"**We need to get you a man," he said with a smile.**

"**Oh yeah?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Well, while we are looking. Lets find you a woman! Mr. I'm enjoying the single life."**

"**Okay, well maybe we both need someone special in our lives."**

"**Yeah," she sighed heavily.**

"**What do you look for in a guy?" **

"**Umm, lets see. He has to be single."**

**Elliot laughed. "Yes, a major plus there."**

"**Smart, a gentleman, I prefer someone at least a little attractive. And you have to like him."**

"**I do, huh?"**

"**Well, yes. You are my best friend. Your opinion means a lot to me. And I don't want to end up falling for a guy you don't like and have that come between us."**

"**I would never let anything like that come between us."**

"**What do you look for in a woman?"**

"**The basics really. Smart, confident, a pretty smile. I am a legs guy, myself. Pretty eyes. Someone who likes children, definitely. Umm. I have always had a thing for blondes. But maybe it is time I changed my MO."**

**Olivia smiled.**

"**What are your favorite features on a guy? Let me guess. You like a guy with a good butt?"**

**Olivia laughed. "No. I like a good smile and sexy eyes. Strong arms."**

"**Liv, that is a little lame."**

"**Maybe so, but that is what I like. Besides those are the only features you can see in the dark."**

"**Oh," Elliot said smiling.**

"**Yeah. You know, when the lights are out and things get…well, you know. I like to feel strong arms around me and see his smile and stare into his eyes. I am a sucker for a sexy pair of eyes."**

"**I can agree with you there. I love pretty eyes. When she looks at you just right it makes you want to melt. I can't say no to the eyes."**

"**Really?"**

"**Yeah, just ask my daughters."**

**Olivia smiled.**

"**Don't play like **_**you**_** have never used that trick on me."**

"**Me?"**

"**Yes, **_**you**_**! With your big brown puppy dog eyes. Those are the reason I cannot tell you no. They are the reason we are standing here right now. **_**Please, Elliot?**_**"**

**Olivia smiled at him. "Hey, I do what it takes."**

"**Yes and you are very good at it. Like I said, I cannot say no to pretty eyes."**

"**You are sweet."**

"**I'm sweet?"**

"**Yes, you are a sweet guy, Elliot Stabler. And any woman should feel lucky to have you."**

"**Well, you are pretty amazing yourself."**

**He said mocking her as he winked as if flirting.**

**Olivia smiled shyly wondering if they were crossing some kind of line.**

"**Do you ever think about it?"**

"**About what?"**

**Elliot took a drink from his beer trying to think how to word it.**

"**About us? You and me?"**

**Olivia stared into his eyes.**

"**I mean if things were different."**

"**Oh, if things were different. Yeah, I mean I guess so. We get along great."**

"**We know each other well," he added.**

"**We are both caring, trusting people."**

"**We're attractive **_**and**_** single!" **

"**We are both intelligent and compromise. We work well together."**

"**There could easily….I think be an attraction there. Because we know each other so well."**

**Olivia stared into his eyes.**

"**We have good chemistry together."**

"**Yeah, so you know the sex would be amazing." Elliot stared back into her eyes not even realizing he just said that out loud. "You know, if things were different."**

"**Yeah."**

**She blinked. Elliot couldn't take his eyes off hers. The had been haunting him, calling to him for eleven years now and here they stood full of want and wonder gazing into his. Without thinking or taking his eyes off hers Elliot sat his beer bottle on the ledge and placed his hands around her waist. **

**Olivia gulped in anticipation as she stared into him. In one swift move Elliot moved quickly inward and pressed his lips to hers. He pulled her body against his and kissed her passionately. He paused for a second and felt Olivia kissing him hungrily as she moved her arms to rest around his neck. **

**He had thought about this many times before but had always figured she would push him away. Before long they had made their way back down the stairs and into her bedroom and were making out on her bed. Their kisses became more heated as the night continued and hands began to roam into places they eyes had never before seen.**

**Elliot moved his arm up around her as he slid one hand down her waist and under her butt cupping it with his hand. He pulled her hips against his then moved his hand to rub his fingertips across the smooth skin of her belly. He kissed her lips and then kissed her neck and under her chin up to her ear before nibbling gently on it. **

**Olivia half laughed and half moaned in his ear and it was sexy as hell. Elliot moved his hands under her shirt to feel her breasts above her bra as he stared into her eyes and she leaned in to kiss him again. **

**Elliot watched her as she sat up beside him in the bed then crawled back off the bed and unbuttoned the fly on her jeans sliding them down and stepping out of them. Then she raised her black tee shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. She wore black cotton boy short panties and a black lace bra. Her body was incredible. She worked out so her abs and arms were perfectly tone and her belly flat. Her skin was tan and soft and warm. It had been so long since Elliot had even looked at a naked woman, let alone one this beautiful.**

**She crawled back across the bed playfully as she straddled his waist and kissed his lips. Elliot put his hands on her. He wanted to touch her, everywhere at once. He couldn't get enough. But his hands seemed to focus mainly on the areas that still remained covered by the thin black fabric. **

**Olivia reached down, unbuttoned his pants and crawled backward, pulling them off and tossing them to the floor. As she moved back up toward his lips, she smoothed her hands up his biceps and unbuttoned his white pinstriped shirt, dropping it to the floor as well. She laid her body over his and kissed him tenderly, intimately and passionately as he moved his hands over her body.**

**Olivia rolled over in the bed and pulled him over her. His arms were around her and she stared up into his eyes as he smiled his sexy smile and kissed her again. Their hearts were pounding and this was real. Olivia moved her hands up and slid down the straps of her bra, she sat up just a little in the bed and reached behind her to unhook the clasp.**

"**Wait!" Elliot said reaching to stop her.**

"**Is something wrong?"**

"**I don't want to do this, not like this."**

"**Elliot, I am not drunk. If that is what you are thinking. I had two beers all night." She smiled at him and placed her palm against his chest. "It's okay."**

"**No Liv," he said falling beside her in the bed, "I don't want sex. I mean, I do. But I want more than that." He rolled over to face her. "Olivia, for the first time in eleven years we are both single and both interested. Look, I want to do this. But I want to date you, not just sleep with you. There is something between us, Liv. I feel it."**

"**I feel it, too." She joked shifting her eyes to the bulge in his boxers now pressed against her thigh.**

**Elliot pulled the blanket around his waist and exhaled. "Obviously the sexual attraction is there. Liv," he stared into her chocolate eyes as he caressed her cheek with his fingertip, "I want a relationship with you. All of those things I said I was looking for in a woman, I found them all in you. And to be completely honest, that is where I got the idea for most of them. I am attracted to you and obviously my body reacts very well to yours. I know this part will be great."**

**Olivia looked a little annoyed. But she honestly wanted more, too. She wanted the amazing sex with him and it had been what seemed like an eternity since she had sex. But Elliot was her best friend and there was too much emotion involved for it to be just sex. It had to be all or nothing.**

**She took a deep breath and sighed. As she laid back in the bed and pulled the blankets around her chest. "You're right. There is a lot more here than a sexual attraction. We could have something really great if we just gave it a real chance. And if we do this tonight, we could just mess it all up." She rolled over to face him and placed her palm against his chest. "So what do we do now?"**

**Elliot leaned in and kissed her lips. "Olivia, will you go out with me?"**

"**What are we in junior high?"**

"**I mean on a date…dinner or a movie or something. I want you to be my girlfriend."**

**She blinked her eyes a couple of times and smiled at him.**

"**Oh, well why didn't you say so?"**

"**Olivia, will you be my girlfriend?"**

"**Yes," she said with a smile as she leaned over to kiss him. She laughed for a moment and pressed her forehead to his. "So we're dating now?"**

"**Yes, ma'am."**

**She kissed him again. "So it wouldn't be completely inappropriate for me to ask my boyfriend to spend the night?"**

"**Liv, I really don't think we should do this just yet."**

**She rolled over and snuggled in against his body placing her head against his chest as her hair fell across his shoulder.**

"**But we can do this, right?"**

**Elliot pulled his arm tight around her and kissed the top of her head.**

"**Yeah. I like this," he said softly.**

**She raised her head a little to look into his eyes. "So do I," she said with a smile as she kissed his lips and put her head back against his chest.**

"**Elliot?"**

"**Yes, Olivia?"**

"**All of those things I was looking for in a man….I found them in you."**

"**It's funny isn't it?"**

"**What's that?" She whispered with a yawn.**

"**How you search forever for something, only to find it was right in front of you the entire time." **

**She smiled against his chest. "I know exactly what you mean."**

**Elliot held her tightly in his arms as they fell asleep together. **

**Two weeks later after fourteen wonderful dates and fourteen nights of holding back they found themselves in the exact same place, Elliot looked at her laying against him in her underwear. He kissed her passionately as his fingers trailed softly up and down her back. **

"**Maybe I should go," he said not sure if it was too soon.**

**Olivia kissed around his neck and put her mouth against his as she kissed him like he had never been kissed before.**

"**No," she whispered, "you should stay."**

**Elliot looked into her eyes. "Are you sure? It's only been two weeks."**

"**It's been eleven years."**

**Elliot took a deep breath as she kissed his collarbone. He felt his heart pounding as she smoothed her hands over his bare chest and stared into his eyes. She smiled.**

"**El? If you are not ready, we can wait."**

"**I'm ready. I want to. I just… I don't want to rush into sex and take a chance on messing this up. I'm crazy about you Olivia."**

"**I'm crazy about you, too."**

**Elliot cupped his hand on the side of her face. "Okay," he said. **

**Olivia sat up and unhooked her bra, laying back in the bed and dropping it into the floor. Elliot just stared into her eyes fro a moment then shifted his attention to her bare chest. She was so beautiful and her body was flawless.**

**He leaned in and kissed her as she closed her eyes and moaned. He moved his hands gently over her breasts and kissed under her chin. Elliot could feel her heart pounding in her chest as her hands reached down and slid his boxers off. She looked at him then slid her underwear off and dropped them out of the bed.**

**They kissed and touched and explored each other for a while in the dark. Elliot moved his hands up her back and rolled her over until he was on top of her again. By now he had kissed every inch of her silky skin. He kissed across her chest and back up to her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck.**

"**Are you ready?" She whispered placing her forehead against his.**

"**Yes," he answered softly kissing her lips.**

**A few minutes later they were making love.**

**Olivia held tight to his back and stared into his eyes. Their lips barely parted long enough to gasp and pant and release little sighs of passion. Elliot slid his arms under her back and held her tight, his hands on both sides of her face gently caressing her cheek bone and combing through the dark locks her hair as he stared into her eyes.**

**Neither of them had ever experienced anything like this before. They made love until they were both exhausted and could go no longer, then curled up tight in each others arms and rested until morning.**

**Elliot felt the suns rays against his face as something tickled his nose. He opened his eyes as she stirred in his arms, not quite awake yet. He took a deep breath and moved a strand of her hair from his face tucking it neatly back into place. He smoothed his hand down her back and across the sheet to pull it up over her shoulders. He placed a kiss on the top of her forehead. Her hair smelled like honey and jasmine on a summer day. **

**Elliot moved his fingers slowly through it. He loved her hair, so soft and shiny and wavy. He tucked it behind her ear and kissed her cheek. The thought of fixing her breakfast in bed had crossed his mind, but he would have to save that for another day. This being their first time together he wanted to just lay here and hold on tight to her until she woke in his arms. **

**Elliot looked down at her sleeping so peacefully in his arms and tried to imagine how wonderful it would be to fall asleep with her every night and wake with her in his arms every morning. It would be incredible. For a moment he wished the world would just forget them and leave them alone, together here forever. **

**Olivia stirred a little and moaned softly as she opened her eyes.**

"**Good morning angel," he whispered kissing her lips gently.**

"**Umm, good morning," she said stretching and yawning. **

"**How did you sleep?"**

**She smiled a warm smile and kissed his lips. "Wonderfully! And you?"**

"**Better than I have in years."**

**Olivia smoothed her hand over his chest and kissed it softly.**

**Elliot groaned softly, "you'd better watch doing that."**

"**Why?" She said looking into his eyes. He pulled her tighter against him and she could feel he was ready to go again. "Oh," she laughed softly. **

**She moved slowly over the top of him and began kissing him passionately.**

"**Oh, God. Liv…"**

"**Yeah?"**

**Elliot couldn't speak. Instead he just blinked his eyes surrendering to her command.**

**Olivia maneuvered her body carefully into position then moved down on to him. She moaned as Elliot kneaded her back in his fingers and pulled her into his thrusts. Olivia placed her hands against his chest and he watched her as her hair fell around her face. She felt so good, almost as if she were made to fit him perfectly. Elliot had never felt it this way with anyone else. **

**She moaned softly as she continued to grind against him. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. **

**Olivia leaned over to kiss him then leaned back tipping her head backward as Elliot moved his hands over her breasts and up her neck caressing the underside of her chin.**

**Soft moans continues effortlessly between them. While she lay over his chest to kiss him tenderly on the lips. Elliot moved his hands up her waist and traced his fingertips across her bare back sending a shiver of pleasure through her body. Olivia moaned softly against his lips as her mouth crashed against his again and she fell against his chest, both of them trying to catch their breath. **

"**That…was….umm….so……incredible," Elliot mumbled between her sweet kisses.**

**She stared into his eyes. "Morning sex is always the best." She settled in against his chest again to recover. Before long they had both fallen asleep again.**


	2. 2 Pieces Of A Broken Heart

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Two: Pieces Of A Broken Heart)_

Olivia laid on her back across a blanket staring up through the branches of the trees at the sky. She could feel the cool grass under her bare feet and Elliot's fingers as they combed gently through her hair. She had never been happier with anyone in her life. It had been two months since they had first decided to take their relationship to the next level and each day just seemed to be more wonderful than the next.

"I'm crazy about you," he said as he leaned in over her and stared into her sparkling brown eyes.

Olivia reached up with her hand and pulled his mouth to meet hers in an upside down kiss. She smiled lovingly at him and traced his lips with her finger. "I'm crazy about you, too."

Elliot laced his fingers in hers and laid down beside her. Their bodies faced opposite directions across the blanket, bringing them face to face to stare into each other.

"This was such a great idea," she laughed as he kissed the tip of her nose.

"I saw this place a while back and I have been wanting to bring you here. This week at work has been so crazy. I thought a long picnic lunch out in the middle of no where would be the perfect way to unwind with my girl."

Liv sat up and leaned over to kiss him. She twisted his tie in her fingers playfully. "Want me to show you what really helps me unwind?" She shot him a seductive gaze as she raised up on her knees and started to unbutton her jeans as she leaned in to kiss him once more.

"Baby," Elliot mumbled between kisses, "what if someone sees us?"

Olivia stopped and looked into his eyes to see if he was seriously worried about getting caught naked with her. "El, you drove fifteen miles from any sign of civilization. Then we parked on the side of some dirt road and jumped a fence. We cut through some woods and climbed across a creek and came out in a field. I am still wondering how you found this place to begin with. And you are worried about someone seeing us have sex? Oh well, I guess we should go then!"

She shrugged her shoulders and stood up and turned to walk away from him. Elliot grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back down to him and kissed her passionately. Olivia laughed. "I thought you would see it my way," she said smiling as she leaned back onto the blanket and pulled off her jeans.

Her long baby doll shirt looked almost like a short dress now and Elliot made good time in running his hands under it to remove anything that stood between him and his goal. Olivia smiled up at him as her eyes sparkled in the warm sunlight.

She smoothed her hands over Elliot's strong neck and shoulders then loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt to kiss and trail her warm tongue over his chest. She loved to do this and it made him crazy. Or she loved to do this because it made him crazy. He wasn't sure which and at this point the really didn't care.

Olivia giggled at his impatience as Elliot hurried to undo his belt buckle and unzip his black slacks. He moved in over the top of her as she stared into him and raised up to kiss him tenderly. She moved her hands under his shirt and around his back continuing them down to the small of his back pushing his pants and boxers down only part of the way so his backside was still covered.

"Make love to me," she cooed between kisses as she clawed her fingernails gently up the skin on his back.

Elliot smoothed his hands up her legs and across her thighs pulling them apart and placing one on each side of his waist as he entered her. He brought his body against hers as he laid over her with his hands caressing her faces and shoulders as he kissed her. Elliot breathed in the smell of her as it surrounded him almost intoxicating him. It was a mixture of the flowers from her shampoo and her perfume with the warm summer breeze and a complete turn on.

Olivia moaned as he moved against her. She closed her eyes and could hear the birds chirping around them and feel the warm summer air against her face as he pulled her in to kiss him again.

It was the end of May and summer was coming on fast as day after day was hotter than the last. Normally this would have been the kind of weather that would make Olivia shoot down such an idea as an outdoor picnic in the middle of nowhere and nearly a mile through the woods.

But today there was a breeze and the smell of summer wild flowers in the air. And of course the fact that this city girl never ventured too far out into the country added to the adventure. She would follow him anywhere all he had to do was ask.

After they finished they just laid together holding on tight. Elliot caressed her back and shoulders and moved his fingers in her hair. He loved her hair. She had the sexiest hair he had ever seen on a woman and it always smelled wonderful. He had fallen victim to many daydream fantasies inspired by the scent of her dark locks.

Olivia laid her head against his chest as she traced her fingertip over it through his opened shirt. She exhaled softly as she batted her eyes at him and smiled.

"Feel better?" She asked with a sweet smile.

Elliot exhaled and stared into her eyes. "You always make me feel better."

"I told you I could help you unwind," she whispered softly against his collar as she placed small kisses on his neck. "We should head back. We have been gone over two hours."

"We have our phones."

"Ummm, I know. But I have to go to court this afternoon Elliot." She kissed him softly on the lips. "I probably need to get back so I have time to run by the apartment and get changed."

"Okay," he groaned as they both sat up.

They headed back to the station.

"You never did tell me how you found that place," Olivia said in the car on the way back.

"Boy Scout camp with Dickie, years ago. We used to hike in there and a few years back we found that clearing and made camp. I remembered it about a week ago. I thought it was peaceful and serene, beautiful. It reminded me of you. That was when I decided I wanted to take you there someday and show it to you."

She smiled. "Well, thank you for sharing it with me. It really was beautiful."

Elliot reached over and took her hand in his and pulled it to his lips. "You're beautiful," she said smiling at her. "And I'm lucky."

Olivia laughed, then kissed him and laid her head against his shoulder for the rest of the drive back.

That night Elliot held her tight in his arms. He kissed her forehead as she slept and realized how quickly he was falling for her. He wasn't surprised really. He had always had feelings for her, but his obligations laid somewhere else. Now for the first time he really knew how it felt to love her without holding back. She was amazing and he could never imagine his life without her in it. Elliot took a deep breath and closed his eyes to try to fall asleep.

The next morning Elliot's phone rang around nine o'clock. It was Saturday and they had planned to spend the better part of the day just laying around and being with each other. So they were both a little displeased when they were wakened by the ringing phone.

Olivia groaned as she raised up and reached across him to pick it up. Elliot wasn't completely sure she wasn't going to open it, but she only looked down at the screen as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She looked up at him with a troubled look in her eyes. "It's Kathy," she said softly handing him the cell phone.

Elliot picked it up and looked at her. "Hey," he said looking at her and kissing her, "it's okay. It's probably just something about court next week."

"Hello," he answered.

Olivia took a deep breath and climbed out of the bed pulling a tee shirt on as she sat on the edge and stared at him. She had a knot in her stomach the size of a Cadillac and was pretty sure this wasn't going to be good.

Elliot listened for a few minutes. Olivia could not tell what the conversation was about, but she didn't like the look that crossed his face. "Yeah, okay. Tonight? Umm, I guess so. Kathy is everything okay? And the kids are all okay? Alright. Yeah, I will meet you and we can talk. Seven o'clock. Okay, I will see you then." Elliot closed his phone and stared at the bed for a second before he looked back at her.

"She wants to talk to me about something important we need to work out before we go to court. Something about custody of the kids. She wants me to come to dinner at the house tonight with her and the kids. After dinner she and I are going to sit down and talk this out."

"She didn't say what it was?"

"No, she didn't want to tell me over the phone."

Olivia pressed her lips together and stared at the blanket crumpled up at the foot of the bed trying not to cry.

"Don't worry, she just wants to talk."

"I just have a really bad feeling about this."

"It will all work out. And in another week this will all be over." Elliot placed his hand against her cheek. "Hey, come over here and show me that pretty smile." He slid her across the bed to sit next to him. She just stared at him about to cry.

Elliot laid her back against the bed and wrapped his arm around her as he kissed her lips. Olivia kissed him back and he held her in his arms once more as they drifted back to sleep together.

That evening Olivia sat at home alone while Elliot went to the house to have dinner with his family and talk with Kathy. She figured it would be late before they would get a chance to talk because the children would be around so when she hadn't heard from him by midnight she went to bed alone.

She waited all day Sunday for him to call, but he never did. Part of her wanted to call him and see what was going on, but she knew he would tell her when he was ready. There came a point when she just wanted to hear his voice and didn't care what they talked about. She picked up her phone and dialed his number, but the phone must have been turned off because it went straight to voice mail.

Olivia didn't see or hear from Elliot again until Monday at work. She was worried about him and asked how things went when she came in but all he would say is they should talk about it later that night over dinner. She took a deep breath and nodded in agreement and watched him as he tried to avoid making eye contact with her as if he felt guilty about something. The suspense was killing her.

That night they had agreed to meet at her apartment for dinner. Elliot showed up right on time with a bottle of wine.

"It's almost ready," she said with a smile as he poured them both a glass of wine.

A few moments later they sat across from each other at the dining room table. Elliot ate his pasta as Olivia dragged her fork through hers waiting for him to start the conversation. She picked up her wine glass and took a drink then sat the glass beside her place and laid her fork down.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on?"

Elliot looked up at her and laid his for down as well wiping his mouth with a napkin and pouring them both more wine. He took a drink for courage then looked up at her.

"El?" She said with tears in her eyes. "You're scaring me."

Olivia pressed her lips together nervously.

"Kathy's pregnant," he all but blurted out.

Olivia just stared at him unable to breathe.

"It's yours?"

"Yes." He picked up his glass again for another drink as she began to cry. "While we were separated, before you and I. We were together one time. I guess…"

"What does this mean?" She asked through tears.

"Liv, it doesn't change the way I feel about you."

"What does it mean, Elliot?"

"Kathy wants me to come home for a while and give things another try."

"Oh God," she breathed feeling almost nauseous.

"I told her I needed time to think about it."

Olivia looked up at him with tears now streaming down her face.

"Did you?"

Elliot stared into her eyes.

"I haven't decided anything yet," he said softly.

"Let me know when you do," she said dropping her napkin to the table as she stood up and headed to the bedroom to cry.

Twenty minutes later Elliot knocked on the bedroom door as he opened it. She was laying across the bed holding on to her pillow still crying.

"Olivia," he said softly sitting beside her on the bed.

"I'm a fool," she said looking at him.

"You told me if we did this something bad would happen, but I didn't listen."

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered wiping away a tear from her cheek.

"Then don't Elliot," she sobbed.

"Please try to understand. In about five months, she is going to have my child."

"What do you want to do?" She tried to stay calm and be rational with him.

"It isn't about what I want to do anymore, Olivia. It is about doing what is right. Following obligations and taking responsibility."

She just stared at him. "And I am just left sitting here alone, with a broken heart. What am I supposed to just forget about everything that has happened in the last two and a half months? Elliot, we crossed a line here and we can never go back. We risked our friendship for a romantic relationship, we took a big chance and now you are just going to walk away like it never happened?"

"I can't forget about how things were with you Olivia. But I at least owe this kid a shot at a real family. A chance to have a father. If we go through with the divorce now and then she has the baby I will never get to see it. I will miss everything, first steps, first words. I care very deeply about you Olivia, I can't just turn that off. But I need to at least give this one more chance. Then I will at least know that I gave it all I had and that I tried to make things work for this kid."

"What makes you think you can make things work for this kid, Elliot? When you and Kathy have tried a dozen times to work it out for the other kids?"

"A baby changes everything Olivia."

"I know that. And I am trying to be understanding and not be selfish about this, Elliot. But I need you, too."

Elliot moved in and held her for a minute as she cried against his chest.

"Liv, don't cry. I have not even decided what I'm going to do yet."

She sat up and looked into his eyes as she took a deep breath.

"Yes you have," she said with a shy smile. "That is why you didn't come back here yesterday. You were trying to find a way to tell me, to break it to me that it is over." She laughed through tears. "You were always a horrible liar."

She sighed heavily and wiped her eyes dry. She turned her pretty brown eyes to stare into his. "You are doing the right thing, Elliot."

He cupped his hand against the side of her face. "Then why does it hurt so bad?"

He raised his arm and she laid her head against his chest one last time as he held her in his arms.

"Are we gonna be okay?" He asked placing a kiss on the top of her forehead.

"Somehow," she said looking up at him. "We always are."

"I'm so sorry, Liv."

She just looked at him and nodded her head. "You should probably go."

"Okay." He stood up from the bed and watched as her hand dropped and her fingers slid out of his. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

She nodded forcing a smile.

"Goodnight, Liv."

"Goodnight, Elliot."

And just like that he was gone.


	3. 3 Denver

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Three: Denver)_

Olivia sat at her desk checking her email as Elliot stood across the room with a grin on his face showing off the baby's sonogram picture to Munch and Fin. She wanted to be happy for him, but the truth is it was killing her inside to be without him.

She scrolled down through a list of junk mail when one message caught her eye. Subject "Re: Position Available." She took a deep breath and looked back up at Elliot across the room laughing and smiling. How could he be so happy when she was so miserable? She took another deep breath and clicked on the link to read the message.

_**Dear Detective Olivia Benson,**_

_**Thank you for your interest in our opening for a Senior Detective over our Special Victims Unit. Our committee has reviewed the resume you sent in with your letter of interest and we are very impressed with your work with the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. We were pleased with your arrest record and record number of cases you have helped to close. We also received a glowing recommendation upon contacting one of your references, Captain Donald Cragen. **_

_**We have just established the Special Victims Unit here at the Denver County Police Department and believe that your specialties in this area could be a great strength for our team. I am very interested in meeting you and would like to arrange for an interview in person. I, of course would arrange to fly you out to Denver and our department would cover the expense of the trip. Please consider this offer and contact me to set up a meeting.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Captain David Brooks **_

Olivia took another deep breath and closed out the email. She hadn't dreamed they would actually be interested in her when she came across the posting for the opening on the internet and sent in her resume. And worse, she didn't think they would actually contact Cragen. She hadn't even told him that the thought of moving to another precinct had even crossed her mind. She glanced up at Cragen's open office door and looked at him sitting behind his desk. She needed to go and talk to him. Explain this all to him. That this was not even something she was interested in.

Olivia stood up and walked to Cragen's office door and tapped lightly against it as he looked up and smiled at her.

"Morning Olivia," he said as if he didn't even know.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course. Have a seat," he said pointing at the chair in front of his desk.

Olivia closed the door and sat down as Cragen turned to a file cabinet, flipped to a file and pulled out a copy of a letter laying it in front of her.

"What is this?" She asked picking up the page in her hand.

"This, is what you came in here for. It is a copy of the recommendation later I faxed to Denver on your behalf. I figured you were interested in knowing what I said to them. All good things, of course."

Her eyes scanned the paper looking over all of the compliments Cragen had given about her. "Thank you," she said softly as they laid the paper back onto the desk. "But this isn't why I came in here. I just wanted to explain. I should have talked to you first."

"Olivia, these people are very interested in you. I'll admit I was a little shocked to know that you were looking for another position, but if this is what you want I think you should take it. I have seen you around here, this last week. You are not happy here anymore. You and Elliot seem to have this void between you. Now I don't know what is going on there, I don't want to know. But I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't be looking at job postings on the internet, let alone sending in a resume if you were not at least a little serious about relocating."

"I have been in New York my entire life. I just can't help but wonder if it isn't time for a change."

"Well, Denver would definitely be a change."

"The Captain over the Special Victims Unit wants me to fly out to meet him for an interview. They are going to pay for everything."

"They want you Olivia. I don't blame them, you are a damn good Detective with a great record."

"Yeah," she exhaled as she sat back in her chair and stared at the file cabinet.

"Then what is the problem?"

"I don't know. I didn't think I was really even interested when I sent them my resume. Of course, the job was for a Senior Detective and I didn't think they would even consider me for the position."

"It is a promotion."

She nodded her head. "I wasn't really even sure I wanted it until I got the email this morning. Now… I guess I am curious."

"So why don't you fly out for the interview and take in some sites. Explore Denver a little bit and see if that is somewhere you think you would be happy. You have plenty of personal time. Take a few days if you want."

"You think so?"

"Olivia, if you do not at least go and check in to it then part of you will always wonder if it would have worked out. At least this way you will know what you are getting in to before you commit to something."

"Yeah."

"Just let me know when and I will get the paperwork filled out. Olivia if you decide this is something you want, I can just fill out a transfer. You would go from here to there in a matter of a few days. They usually help cover moving expense and help you find a place to live. You have a lot to think about. You should really research this before you decide."

She looked at him a little strange.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just figured you would be upset. I didn't think you would be so supportive."

"Olivia, I love having you here. You are a wonderful Detective and a good friend. But I want you to be happy. I want you to be where you feel at home. If this isn't it for you anymore than I as a friend feel I need to help you to find that. Even if it means losing you as one of my Detectives. I'll be sad to see you go, Liv. But I am excited to see you get this opportunity."

Olivia stood up from the chair and walked toward the door.

"Oh and one more thing…"

"Yeah," Cragen waited to see what she would say next.

"I have not exactly told anyone about this. Actually I would rather no one else know, especially Elliot."

"Okay."

"I just think it would be better if I actually knew what was going on before I told everyone. I mean I may decide to stay here and then I would have gotten them all worked up over nothing."

"By them, you mean Elliot."

"Exactly. He is going to flip out."

"Olivia, you cannot always do or not do things in your life by how Elliot is going to react. I know the two of you are close and he can still be your friend if you are in Denver."

"Yeah, I know. It will just be strange not seeing everyone everyday. I mean you guys are all like family to me."

"We will still be here for you, all of us. And if you get there and decide it wasn't quite what you thought it would be I will welcome you back with open arms at anytime. You know that. You always have a place here, Olivia."

She smiled and laughed a little. "Thanks."

She turned and walked back to her desk. Elliot sat across from her staring at her trying to figure out what she had talked to Cragen about.

"What's up?" He asked figuring she would pour it all out to him.

"Nothing."

"What did Cragen want?"

"Actually I asked to talk to him."

"Oh really? What's going on?"

"Nothing, really. It is personal and I don't really feel like discussing it with you right now."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry, Elliot. I didn't mean to snap. I just don't think it is healthy for us to know so much about each other. I mean I don't breathe without you knowing about it."

"Liv, we have always been close. This is just now bothering you?"

"No, I just think that we are a little too close. I mean if we're not…" she shifted her eyes around the room to make sure no one could overhear their conversation, "together anymore then I think we just need a little more personal space. That's all."

"Okay. I didn't realize I was crowding you."

"You're not. I just don't want us to get that way. We have gotten too comfortable with each other. We are not professional toward each other anymore. There is not enough balance."

"It is the same as it was before."

"It was different before."

"Why?"

"Because we were sleeping together, Elliot. There are things that it is okay for your boyfriend to know about you, that is it not okay for your partner."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Like this morning when we came in and you lead me into the room with your hand on the small of my back."

"I thought you liked that."

"I did Elliot. When you were my boyfriend and that was the only way you could touch me in public with out people noticing. But we are not like that anymore. Now it is just…inappropriate. And we shouldn't have to know where the other person is every moment when we are not at work."

"You tell me these things. I didn't even ask."

"I know. I am just saying I need to work on it, too."

"We have to take everything back to the way it was before. Everything. Before we kissed and held hands and saw each other naked and had sex. Infact, we should just forget any of it ever even happened."

Elliot looked at her shocked to hear her say it.

"Liv, I don't want to for get it."

"Elliot, I am not going to sit around here and wait on you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about the fact that you assume that if this thing with you and Kathy doesn't work out then we will get back together and just be okay again. It doesn't work that way Elliot. You made your choice. And you chose to go back home to Kathy."

"You know why I went back."

"You still went back. It was your decision, no one else's. I need to move on with my life Elliot. Date other guys and try to find my own happiness. Because I am not just going to sit around here waiting to see what happens between you and Kathy."

Elliot stood there with a shocked look on his face. Somehow he had assumed that if things didn't work out with Kathy he and Olivia would get back together.

Olivia stacked some files on her desk then grabbed her jacket and keys off her desk. "I have to meet Casey for court," she said as she glanced at him only for a second before leaving the room.

Three days later Olivia found herself in a window seat on a plane headed for Denver. She stared out the window waiting for take off and wondered how the hell she got where she was now. What was she doing? Running off to Denver was not going to make her not love Elliot anymore. If anything, it could further complicate things. She would be in a new city with a new job and new home, alone.

Elliot would be destroyed if she even told him she was going for the interview. So calling him from Denver to mope about how lonely she was, was not likely to happen. Could she do this with out her best friend? She exhaled heavily and leaned back in her seat. She slid on her earphones and stared at the little screen on the back of the seat in front of her until she had fallen asleep.

An hour later she opened her eyes. It was dark now and the plane was about to descend onto the city that may be her future home. Olivia turned and gazed out the window at the lights below. It wasn't half the size of New York from the air and she already felt a little homesick. She took a deep breath and reached for her carryon bag as the door opened and the passengers started to file out one by one.

She stood up to raise her bag over her shoulder as the strap wedged between the seats. She pulled and tugged on it, but it was no use. She glanced around the planes compartment as she realized she was the last passenger on board and the flight attendants were scurrying around preparing for the next flight.

"Great," she mumbled raising her foot to press against the seat for leverage as she pulled with all of her weight.

"May I provide some assistance, ma'am?" A man's voice said from behind her. Olivia closed her eyes. She wanted so badly for it to be Elliot. There to tell her what a mistake she was making and sweep her off her feet. To admit he was wrong for leaving her to go back to Kathy and that he wanted to be with her.

"Ma'am?" It even sounded like Elliot for a moment.

Olivia sighed and opened her eyes. She turned around to see a very attractive dark haired man with stunning green eyes smiling at her.

"Oh," she mumbled barely able to speak. "Please," she stepped out of his way as he leaned across the seat giving a gently tug to the strap of the bag as it popped loose on the first try. She felt like a fool.

"Here you go," he said with a gorgeous smile as he handed her the bag.

"Thank you so much," she almost stuttered.

"Jackson, you can call me Jack." He extended his hand to shake hers.

"Olivia," she said smiling as she stared into his eyes. "I was beginning to think all of the other passengers had already gotten off the plane." She laughed nervously. He probably had a wife or girlfriend somewhere he needed to get to but she felt compelled to keep him in conversation. "I didn't see you on the plane."

"Ah, I flew stand by. They prefer the staff sit in the back."

"Staff? Oh, are you a flight attendant?"

"Uhh, no. Actually, I am a pilot for the airline."

"Oh," Olivia felt a foolish grin cross her face. This trip was looking up already.

"Another pilot is sick and they needed someone to from Denver to Los Angeles tonight."

"Wow, kind of last minute."

"Yeah, it happens that way sometimes. But I love to travel."

"Sounds like an exciting career."

"Sometimes, yeah."

"So what brings you to Denver."

"Job interview. I'm a Detective with the Manhattan Police Department."

"Talk about exciting." They both laughed.

"Were you in New York on business?"

"Yeah, actually I was supposed to have a couple of days off there, but they needed me for this flight."

Before she knew it they were standing in the airport in front of the baggage claim.

"This is me," she said pointing to a large suitcase on wheels.

Jack picked it up for her and sat it on the ground. He stared down at it for a minute. "How long are you going to be in Denver, Olivia?"

She laughed. "Two days. Well, it is clothes and things to get ready for my interview. I want to make a good impression."

Jack looked over her and smiled as she caught him checking her out. "I'm sure you will."

Olivia smiled and giggled.

"Listen, I'd better get going. I have a lot of work to do before my flight leaves in an hour. It was really nice to meet you Olivia," he said raising her hand to kiss it.

"It was nice to meet you too Jack," she smiled again as she turned to walk away.

"Olivia," he called from behind her.

Liv, stopped and smiled for a second then turned to face him as he approached her again.

"Listen, I was thinking….I mean if there is not a Mr. Detective Olivia Manhattan Police Department, maybe I could call you sometime when I am in New York? We could have dinner or something."

"Umm….yeah." She nodded her head and her eyes lit up as she looked through her purse for something to write on. She scribbled down her name and number on the back of a Macy's receipt and handed it to him.

Jack looked down at it and grinned. "Well, like I said it was really nice meeting you," he looked back down at her number on the paper in his hand, "Olivia Benson."

"It was nice to meet you, too." She smiled and walked back toward the front entrance to catch a cab. She couldn't help but feel excited for meeting him. An airline pilot, she thought to herself. God he was sexy.

She got checked in to her hotel around seven thirty and realized she hadn't eaten all day. She kicked off her shoes and picked up the remote control as she flipped through the room service menu. Minutes later her cell phone rang.

She rolled over on her back on the bed and groaned hoping it wasn't Elliot. She didn't want to have to make up some story as to her whereabouts and she wasn't ready to tell him the truth yet. She reached onto the nightstand and picked up the phone.

"Benson," she all but groaned.

"Olivia?"

"Yes," she sat up quickly in the bed at attention.

"Hey, it's Jack. Listen, they just canceled my flight so I am in Denver overnight. I was wondering if maybe you were interested it getting some dinner together?"

"Uhh, yeah."

"Where would you like to go?"

"I don't know. I have never been to Denver," she laughed.

"Umm, do you like sushi?"

"Yeah."

"I know a great place."

Jack gave her the address and she agreed to meet him there in an hour for a late dinner.

Olivia hurried around the room trying to make herself look presentable. Lucky for her she just happened to pack a little black dress should an occasion such as this arise. She slipped it on and looked at herself in the mirror. She stared at her reflection and smiled as she stepped out of her comfortable underwear and went for the more sexy lacy ones in her bag. She didn't plan on sleeping with the guy on a first date, but they made her feel sexy. A quick spin in front of the mirror and she was out the door.

Fifteen minutes later her cab pulled up in front of the address. Olivia looked up at the building and turned back to the driver.

"Are you sure this is right?"

"This is the address you gave me Lady."

"I'm supposed to meet my friend at a sushi restaurant, this is a night club."

"No, the sushi place went out of business about a year ago. This place has been here about six months. Very popular."

Olivia turned to look at the crowd on the side walk.

"You wanna stay lady or do you want me to take you back to the hotel?"

Her eyes scanned the crown and she spotted Jack standing there in a black suit.

"No, this is good." She handed the driver a twenty and slid out of the back seat.

"Hey," she said with a smile as she approached him on the sidewalk.

"Hi. You look gorgeous," he said taking her hands in his to admire the black dress.

"Thank you." She turned her head to look at the night club and the line in front. "I wasn't sure this was the right address."

"Yeah," he laughed. "I have not been in Denver on over a year. I'm really sorry about that."

She laughed. "It's okay. Anything is fine really."

Jack looked around them. So much had changed since he had been there last.

"I have an idea," he said with a smile. He locked his fingers in hers and held tight to her hand. "Come on."

He lead her across the street and down the block a little ways to a fancy hotel with a restaurant inside. "This place is nice," he said smiling as Olivia smiled back at him.

They didn't have a reservation so they had to sit at the bar until a table opened up, but Olivia didn't care. They ordered drinks, he white wine and her a glass of red. Half way through their drinks they were escorted to their table and given their menus.

"This place is beautiful," Olivia said folding her napkin in her lap.

"The caviar is wonderful here."

"Umm," she shook her head, "I'm not really a big fan of caviar."

Jack smiled at her. "Oysters?"

Olivia winced and shook her head.

"Steak?"

"Love steak!"

They both laughed.

"Me too," he said with a smile. "Actually, I think that is what I will have." He folded his menu and looked up at her as the waiter approached the table.

"Ready to order?" The waiter asked.

"I think we might need another minute."

"Oh, no. I'm ready."

"Ladies' first," Jack said with a smile.

Olivia smiled back at him them looked at the waiter. "I will have the pasta with chicken instead of shrimp and a Cesar salad, please."

"Yes, ma'am. And to drink?"

"Another glass of wine."

"Well, take a bottle of whatever this is," Jack said pointing to her glass.

"And you sir?"

"Steak, medium well. Baked potato and Cesar salad."

A few minutes later the waiter returned with their bottle of wine and salads.

"So, Olivia. Tell me about yourself."

She smiled. "What would you like to know?"

"Everything," he said staring into her eyes.

Olivia smiled and turned her head away as she pressed her lips together.

"Where are you from originally?"

"New York, born and raised."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. You?" She laughed. "Jack, I don't even know your last name."

"Crawford, Jackson Crawford."

"A southerner?"

"My family's in Virginia mostly. I grew up in Georgia."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You hide the drawl well," she grinned. "Though I don't know why you would want to, I think it is beautiful."

"Well, I have been away for a while. I have an apartment in Maine and that is where I stay when I am not working. Not much use for a southern draw in Maine."

"I guess not."

"So why exactly would you want to move to Denver from New York?"

"It is a promotion."

"The money good?"

"As good as it can be on a cop's salary. It isn't too shabby." She smiled again.

"Wont you miss New York?"

"Yeah," she tilted her head and thought about it for a second. "All of my friends are there."

"And your family?"

Olivia looked up at him and took a drink of wine. "I don't really have family. All I ever really had was my mother and she passed away years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. The people I work with have kind of become my family. That is why…if I decide to take this job, I will miss New York so much."

She tipped her head and smiled at him. "What about you? What do you like about Maine?"

"Great Lobster. During season you can buy the right there off the pier. As fresh as they get. You like lobster?"

"Yes."

"I'll have to make it for you sometime."

Olivia smiled at the thought of seeing him again.

"I'd like that."

They talked for another hour as they enjoyed their meal. Then Jack paid the check and they walked along the sidewalk waiting for a cab to drive by. As they walked slowly and talked it started to thunder and rain. Jack put his jacket over her and they ran into the nearest entrance to get out of the weather.

Olivia laughed as she looked down at herself and back up at Jack. She looked around them, they had ran into a small movie theatre. Jack smiled as he looked into her eyes.

"It's getting late," he said looking down at his watch. "If you'd like I can get the number and call a cab."

"Jack I have had such a great time with you tonight."

"I have had a great time, too."

He pulled her close to him and gently places a soft kiss against her lips.

Olivia leaned forward longing for more.

"I have been wanting to do that since I met you on the plane."

She looked into his eyes and smiled. "I'm not ready for this wonderful night to be over," she said softly.

"It doesn't have to be," he leaned in to her and kissed her tenderly as he moved his thumb slowly over her chin.

Olivia sighed as their lips parted.

Jack just stared into her eyes for a few more minutes then he looked around hem forgetting momentarily they were in a public place.

"You want to catch a show?"

"Sure," she said with a smile. "If there is anything starting this late."

They walked to the ticket counter to look up at the sign.

"The last show started half an hour ago."

"Actually," said the kid behind the counter, "my boss is making us stay over to screen this new romantic comedy that starts tomorrow. I'll be running the projector from the booth to make sure the sound and everything is good on it. But the theatre will be empty if you guys want to sit in, you are more than welcome."

Olivia looked at Jack. "What do you think?"

"I think it is a wonderful idea if it buys me a couple of more hours with you."

The kid handed them two tickets. "Up the ramp first door on the right. Sit anywhere you'd like."

Jack held her hand and walked her toward the concession stand. "What would you like?"

Olivia smiled. "A diet soda."

He looked at the kid behind the counter. "I need a large popcorn, a large diet soda and a large regular."

Olivia leaned in over his shoulder. "I'll be right back," she whispered as she turned and walked toward the ladies room. She fluffed her hair and checked her make up, then joined him to watch the movie.

"Big question here….where do you prefer to sit at the movies?"

"Big question?"

"Well yes. Something like that could make or break a relationship."

Olivia laughed. "That all depends who I am with and if I actually intend on watching the movie. If I am actually going to watch the film, then closer to the front. But if I am just here to be alone with a special someone and don't intend on watching the movie anyway then in the back. It is darker and you have more privacy."

Jack laughed. "Okay, you are with me. Where do you want to sit?"

She stared into his amazing green eyes. "Since this is a first date…"

"Technically, it is a second date."

She looked at him and smiled.

"Well, dinner at the restaurant and now the movie. I'm gone a lot, I have to make every moment count."

"Kind of puts a new meaning to speed dating." She laughed.

"Yeah."

"How about somewhere in the middle?" She asked pointing at the row in front of them.

"Perfect!"

He handed her a soda and took her other hand in his as he lead her to the seats she had pointed at.

During the film they held hands and fed each other popcorn. They were not even half way through it before they started kissing passionately in the dark. Dropping half a bucket of popcorn into the floor between their feet. Olivia still had his jacket on and raised her fingertips to touch his jaw while he kissed her. He was such a good kisser.

After the movie they shared a cab back to her hotel and Jack walked her up to her door holding her hand the entire way. They stood outside for a moment just staring at each other.

"I had such a good time," Olivia said with a soft smile. "Thank you, for everything."

"I'd like to see you again," Jack said softly as he leaned in to steal another soft kiss.

"I'd like that," Olivia whispered staring into his eyes.

"Can I call you?"

"I would be hurt if you didn't," she replied.

Jack placed his hand against her jaw and pulled her mouth to his for a passionate good night kiss. One turned into two and several kissed later Olivia reached behind her and slid her key card into the door popping the it open as they stumbled in and fell across the bed.

Jack leaned in over her as he smiled and kissed her again looking deep into her eyes. He slid his suit jacket off her shoulders and laid it beside them on the bed. They kissed and touched each other for a while. They moved their hands over each others bodies above their clothing and explored.

Everything inside Olivia wanted everything he was. She had never been so attracted to someone she had just met. His kisses were strong and sweet and he smelled like really great cologne. He was such an incredible kisser. She moaned a little as he kissed her lips again.

"Jack," she cooed against his chest.

"Yes, Olivia?" He turned to look into her eyes.

"I really want this," she said softly.

"So do I." He leaned in and kissed her again.

"Jack…"

"Yes, Olivia?"

She just looked at him for a minute. "I don't do this," she said softly.

Jack stared into her eyes and kissed her again. "Neither do I," he said as he laid across the bed beside her and looked at her.

Olivia smoothed her hand down his chest over his shirt.

He raised his hand to hers. "Olivia, we should stop. It is too soon for this," Jack said reaching across the bed and placing his hand against her cheek.

Olivia sighed, a little disappointed and a little relieved.

"Olivia, I don't want to rush this. I care about you." Jack slid over against her and pulled her into his arms. "I would love nothing more than to make love to you right now, but I really don't think either of us are ready for that."

She smiled at him. "You're right. I was just laying here trying to think of a way to break it to you that I wasn't ready."

"I should go," he said kissing her lips.

"You could stay," she said softly looking at him.

Olivia slid over in the bed and pulled back the blankets.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll behave. I'm going to change out of this dress though." She leaned over and kissed him.

Jack watched her as she walked across the room and opened her suitcase pulling out a tee shirt and a pair of boxers and went into the bathroom to change. He sat up on the edge of the bed and kicked off his shoes. Olivia walked out and watched him as he slid his belt out of his pants and laid it on the night stand.

"Hey beautiful," he said with a smile as she climbed into the bed next to him.

"Hey," she said softly with a smile.

Jack unbuttoned his shirt and laid it over a chair across the room then reached for his pants. He stopped and looked at Olivia for a moment.

"I sleep in my boxers. Is that going to bother you?"

"No," she said with a smile and laughed a little. "You're shy?"

"Well, we did just meet a few hours ago."

They both laughed as he stood up, stepped out of his pants and tossed them over the chair beside his shirt.

Jack crawled into bed beside Olivia and pulled her in against him. She nestled her face in against his chest as she breathed in the scent of his cologne. She moaned softly as she exhaled and raised her chin to kiss him.

"I'm glad you stayed," she said softly.

He held her tight, "so am I."

Olivia gazed into his eyes as he kissed her again. She settled back against him and closed her eyes.

"I have not even held a woman in months," Jack confessed softly kissing her cheek.

"Well, you're doing just fine." She kissed him softly and closed her eyes.

"Olivia, I have to leave tomorrow."

"I know."

"My flight leaves out at noon. I need to be there by ten thirty."

Olivia opened her eyes to look at the alarm clock across the room. "It is after three already," she said softly. "Are you going to get enough sleep?"

"I'll manage," he said smiling at her as he pulled her close once more. "It is only about a two and a half hour flight."

"Oh."

"Goodnight Olivia."

"Good night Jack," she whispered through a yawn.

Before long they had fallen asleep together.


	4. 4 Decisions

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Four: Decisions)_

Olivia opened her eyes at the sound of the alarm clock buzzing. She groaned a little and looked over at the incredibly attractive man laying asleep beside her.

"Jack," she said softly. "Your alarm is going off."

He stretched and kissed her softly. "I'm gonna use your shower really quick." He kissed Olivia and headed for the shower.

Olivia rolled over and closed her eyes dozing off again. She awoke fifteen minutes later to Jack's gentle kiss against her lips.

"Umm," Olivia moaned.

She climbed out of the bed and followed him to the hotel room door.

Jack stopped and wrapped his arms tight around her holding her and kissing her passionately.

Olivia looked deep into his eyes and smiled as he held her hand tight.

"Do you regret it?" She asked softly.

Jack looked at her and smiled as he leaned in to kiss her gently. "Not making love to you? Maybe a little." Olivia grinned and laughed as he moved his nose against hers. "No, I don't. Because someday when we are ready for it, it will happen and it will be amazing. When the timing is right."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Jack looked across the room at the clock. "I have to go, Olivia. But I want you to call me tonight and tell me all about this interview."

"Me call you?"

"Yes. I saved my number in your phone this morning before I woke you up."

Olivia laughed. "Okay. You be careful."

"Always. And I will be thinking about you every second until I can see you again."

Olivia gulped. She didn't like the thought of not knowing when that may be. Jack watched her as a worried look crossed her face.

"Hey, look at me." He raised her chin as tears filled her eyes. "You know as soon as I can get a day off I will be in New York to see you, right?"

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. I mean it is going to be kind of hard to have a relationship strictly by phone."

"I guess so. When do you think I will see you again?"

"I'm not sure yet. But trust me, it will be as soon, as much and as often as I can."

Olivia smiled. "I'm going to miss you. This is strange, I feel like I have known you forever. Not like I just met you yesterday."

"I know. Think of how awkward it would be if we had actually had sex last night."

She smiled and hugged him tight one last time as he kissed her then headed off down the hallway. Olivia's interview wasn't until two o'clock that afternoon so she laid back down to sleep for another hour before she got up and got ready.

Olivia got up and got ready for her interview. She left the hotel a little early so she was sure not to be late. She was seated in the back seat of the cab when she realized she had two new text messages. She opened her phone to read them. The first was a short little message from Jack just moments after he had left her hotel room telling her that he missed her already.

She smiled and sighed. She wasn't quite sure what this feeling was that he gave her, but she liked it. She hadn't stopped thinking about him since they had met and she was really hoping this would turn out to be something good.

She pushed the button to open the second message. It was also from Jack, this time letting her know that he had landed safely in Los Angeles and to wish her luck on her interview. He was so sweet.

Olivia looked out the window at the miniature city as it passed by. It was nothing at all like back in New York, but maybe that was the appeal. Maybe it would be nice to escape the hustle and bustle of the big city for a while. Cragen had already told her that she could come back at any time. That made this big chance not seem as scary.

The cab pulled up in front of her destination and Olivia just sat and stared. Here goes nothing, she thought as she pressed her lips together and stepped onto the sidewalk. She straightened her clothing and tucked her hair behind her ear as she paid the cab driver and he drove away.

She turned and stood on the steps in front of the Denver County Police Station, a not so big one story building placed strategically between a bank and a post office. She took a deep breath and walked up the six steps to the front lobby. This place was tiny compared to Manhattan.

"Olivia Benson to see Captain David Brooks, please."

"Yes, ma'am. He has been expecting you." The woman sitting behind the counter smiled as she walked out and lead Olivia down the hallway to a small office in the back. "If you'll have a seat he should be with you in just a moment. Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee or danish?"

"No, thank you." Olivia smiled at the sweet woman.

She sat in the office for just a few minutes before Captain Brooks entered the room and shut the door behind him to begin her interview.

An hour later Olivia walked down the steps of the police station as she opened her phone and found Jack's number calling it.

"Hey beautiful," he said after three rings.

"Hey."

"I cannot stop thinking about you."

"Really?"

"How did it go?"

"It went great! Jack, he offered me the job. He said it is mine if I want it. I told him I needed a little time to think about it and he gave me a couple of days. But he called a cab for me and it is supposed to pick me up here in a few minutes and take me to look at some apartments across town."

"So you are really considering it?"

"I don't know. I mean this has all happened so fast. I wasn't going to look for a place right now. But, he said if I put in the transfer the department would cover my deposit and first months rent at this complex and the cost of the move. They really want me here. They just started their Special Victims Unit and they do no have anyone who is experienced working with live victims. So far everyone working the cases is doubling from homicide."

"Wow. Special Victims?"

"Yeah. I work sex crimes."

"I guess we didn't cover that last night."

"Is that a problem?"

"Oh, no. I just realized that I never really asked you what department you worked in. You seem like someone who would do good working closely with people."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean you are really caring and compassionate. I bet you are good at your job."

"Apparently I am damn good, because I now have a job in New York and Denver begging me to come work here."

"That's my girl."

"You are so sweet. I wish I could see you."

"I know darlin'. But I will see you as soon as I can."

"Listen can I call you back later, my cab is here."

"Of course."

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

The apartment they showed her was wonderful. Much larger than most in Manhattan at about a third of the price. The complex had onsite laundry, an indoor pool, tennis courts and a gym. This place seemed perfect. And it was not too far from the precinct.

Olivia returned to her hotel room and took a long hot bath. She closed her eyes and slid into the bubbles she had improvised using two of those little hotel shampoos. She exhaled deeply and just tried to unwind and relax. Everything the last few days was happening so quickly. They were all good things, but happening fast and she wanted to make sure that she really considered everything before she made a decision.

She thought about things with jack. She really liked him. She was _really_ attracted to him as well. But she knew that she wanted to try a relationship with him. He made her happy and even if he was gone a lot she loved their conversations on the phone. Jack she could have either way. It didn't matter to him if he had to visit her in Denver or Manhattan.

This job was perfect, a dream come true for her. A promotion and a great deal more money. The apartment was wonderful and with the cheaper cost of living here she could even start looking to buy a house in the near future and get out of apartments completely.

But in New York she had her friends. The apartment she was living in was amazing, for Manhattan. Of course she owned it now so she could always rent it out if she did come to Denver. This new job would give her the opportunity she needed to stand on her own two feet and climb out of Elliot's shadow. Here she would be an experienced Detective, back in New York she was just Elliot's partner.

Elliot…..Elliot….what was she going to do about Elliot? He was the dotted line of this deal. The one thing that could make this go either way. She didn't want to hurt him by leaving, but if she stayed she only continued to hurt herself. She was in love with a man that she may never have. She didn't want to be in love with him anymore. She wanted to be able to let it go, let him go and just be back to the way they were before, but that was never going to happen.

Olivia wanted a chance to be happy with someone. Maybe that someone was Jack. But she knew that if she stayed in New York her two wonderful months with Elliot would be the memory that she compared every relationship to for the rest of her life. She would never fully be able to let him go if she had to face him every single day. She didn't want to lose him, but she could not stay there and watch every day as the man she was in love with loved another woman.

Olivia felt a tear roll off her cheek and into the bath water as she laid the warm damp wash cloth over her face and closed her eyes. She was going to have to make a decision and soon. And this was probably going to be the hardest decision she would ever make.


	5. 5 A Bad Goodbye

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Five: A Bad Goodbye)_

Olivia sat in the passengers seat staring out the window as Elliot drove them back across town. She pulled her phone from her pocket and smiled as she felt it vibrate in her pocket.

"Hey," she said sweetly as Elliot turned his head sharply to look in her direction.

She listened for a few minutes with a smile on her face. It was always so nice to hear his voice and just the sound of him on the other end of the line was enough to start her heart racing.

"Yeah," she said softly smiling again. "Me, too." She turned to look at Elliot who was not doing so hot at trying to hide the fact that he was obviously eavesdropping on her conversation.

"Can I call you back in a little while?" She asked him. "I'm working right now and it is a little hard to talk."

There was a pause on her end and she smiled again.

"Me, too. I will talk to you later. Bye."

She closed the phone in her hand and exhaled lightly as she combed her fingers through her hair and stared at it. Then she turned to look out the window again.

Elliot was dying to know who this mystery caller was and what this was all about. But he was thinking about what she had said about them knowing too much about each other and he didn't want to piss her off by asking. He waited eagerly for her to offer up the information, but she never did.

"So…" Elliot said after several minutes of awkward quietness.

"So?" She repeated turning to look at him.

He stared at her for a minute but she held a blank expression on her face and did not say anything at all.

Elliot took a deep breath, he couldn't take it anymore. Besides she was still his best friend and he had the right to be concerned for her safety, right?

"Who was that?" He asked scratching his head and trying to be smooth about it.

"A friend," she answered simply.

"Liv, what is going on with you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you are very obviously hiding something from me. And it is obviously something you feel _needs_ to be hidden."

"Then why don't you just leave it alone?" She asked giving him a glare that clearly said it was none of his business.

"I worry about you."

"Don't. I am not one of your responsibilities, Elliot. I can take care of myself just fine."

"Look, I know I hurt you. And I am sorry for that. I would take it back if I could Olivia, but I can't. But you being hostile toward me is not going to fix anything. All it is doing is making it hard for us to work together."

"I am not hostile!"

"You are. You wont even look me in the eye anymore. You are so hurt and pissed off that you are pushing me away. I thought we agreed that it would never be this way between us?"

"Yeah, well we agreed on a lot of things that didn't work out the way we had planned. Why should this be any different?"

"Olivia, look at me."

She sat staring out the window quietly, now she was avoiding talking to him as well. Elliot pulled the car over at the park and shut off the engine.

"Talk to me, Liv."

She was starting to cry and still refused to look at him.

"What do you want me to say Elliot? I screwed up. I let myself fall in love with a married man. But I can't have you. I will never have you. Not the way I want you. So it is over. And I am fine with that. It is just a little hard to adjust to."

"Liv, I know you are still hurt over this. But we have to find a way to put it all aside and still be able to work together."

Finally she looked at him and Elliot stared in to her face as tears streamed down it. "You know what hurts the most, Elliot? Is that I almost feel betrayed by you. Not by my boyfriend, but by my best friend. All of those things that you said to me about this being real and you could feel how we were supposed to be together. Then two months later you just walk away from me and go back. You never should have pursued things with me Elliot, if there was ever a chance that you would get back together with Kathy. You turned this into something bad. We had a wonderful two month relationship that you downgraded to an affair when you went back to your wife. You made me the other woman, Elliot. And I don't know if I can ever fully forgive you for the way you made me feel. I loved you. I trusted you and I was blindsided by this. I never would have expected anything like this from you. It may be childish and even stupid for me to feel this way about all of this, but it is the way I honestly feel at least for now. So, if I seem a bit moody with you as a result of our untimely break up, then you are just going to have to deal with it for a while!"

"Olivia, don't be this way."

"No. You expect me to just smile and go on like it never happened and be all buddy, buddy best friends again. Elliot if you were thinking like my best friend that night you never would have hurt me like this!"

By now he had driven them back to the precinct and he pulled over in front of the building as she unbuckled her seat belt.

"I get it, I'm a shitty friend."

"No Elliot," she said looking at him and wiping the tears from her face, "you are a shitty boyfriend!" She climbed out of the car and slammed the door behind her as she climbed the steps and walked toward her desk. She hated that he made her feel this way. She hated that she was being a complete and total bitch to him, but for right now she didn't know of any other way to react to him.

Elliot walked in and sat down across from her. With out looking Olivia picked up her phone and walked to the ladies room to return Jack's call.

"Hey," she said softly as she heard him answer.

"What's going on? You sound like you have been crying?"

"I'm okay. Just having a rough day."

"Well, what if I said I thought I could make it better?"

"How is that?"

"I will be arriving at JFK in three hours."

"Really?" All of a sudden all of her problems with Elliot had drifted from her mind.

"Yes, but I can only stay for a few hours before I have to head out again."

"How did you pull this off?"

"I traded schedules with a buddy of mine. He wanted the weekend off to celebrate his anniversary with his wife and I held out for his New York flight."

"You are so amazing. How long can you stay?"

"I will be in around five and have to fly out on the red eye flight. I have to be back at the airport by midnight. The flight leaves at one tomorrow morning."

"It is almost two now. Why don't I pick you up and I will cook you dinner at my place. I can pick up a bottle of wine."

"Sweetheart, I would love to. But I can't do wine. I have to fly later."

"Well, we'll think of something," she said smiling. "I miss you so much and I cannot wait to see you."

Olivia got off the phone and took the rest of the afternoon off to head home and prepare for Jack's arrival. She wanted tonight to be really special for him and she had not stopped thinking about him since their wonderful night together back in Denver. And their conversations three or four times a day every day since they had met had just brought them even closer. She felt as if it had been months that they had been together and really they had only been on two dates.

She made a few stops on the way home getting some groceries, candles and fresh flowers for the table. She put on soft music and took a bubble bath to relax and wash away work from her mind and body, before slipping in to something casual but sexy.

She chose her favorite pair of blue jeans that were just a little tight and fit her body perfectly and a thin, soft V-neck navy blue sweater over a white tank top. She fixed her hair and make up and had dinner almost completely ready when she headed out the door to go get Jack.

She stood at the airport in front of the gate number he had given her and watched as his plane came in. She stared out the window a little in awe at the fact that it was Jack who had been flying that big plane, she was proud to be his….whatever she was to him. Olivia turned her head to look gown at the carpet beneath her feet as she thought about it for a second. She had never really considered their situation before. What exactly were they? They were friends, yes. But it seemed like so much more than that. Yet, they weren't quite lovers. Was she even his girlfriend?

She looked back up and watched as the passengers unloaded from the plane reuniting with their loved ones. The crowd soon thinned out and Olivia sat in a chair against the wall to wait for him.

"There she is," she heard his voice say from across the room as she looked up from her phone. She dropped the opened phone into the chair beside her and threw her arms around his neck as she kissed his lips and he led tight to her waist.

"God I missed you," she said softly.

"I missed you, too." Jack kissed her again and pulled his jacket over his shoulder as he put his arm around her.

"I've never actually seen you in your uniform. It's so sexy," she said with a smile.

"I was thinking the same exact thing about this sweater," he said as she laughed.

Jack stood for a moment and just looked into her eyes. "I told you that I would come see you."

"I am so glad you are here."

He kissed her softly. "Lets get out of this airport before they send me back out."

They started to walk toward the exit. "Oh…" Olivia said running back to get her phone from the chair. She picked it up and looked back down at the text message she had received from Elliot asking if everything was okay and wanting to know why she left work so early. The reply she typed him consisted of only two words… "I'm fine." She hit send and turned off her phone for the evening.

Back at the apartment Olivia showed Jack around. He changed in to more comfortable clothes then sat on a barstool at the counter watching as she finished cooking them dinner and set the table. Olivia lit the candles as they both sat down to eat.

She couldn't help but smile as she stared across the table at the handsome man seated at the other end. Afterward they kicked off their shoes and curled up on the couch together to watch a pay-per-view movie. But they didn't actually watch much of the movie.

Moments in to it they began kissing and exploring each others bodies. They ended up having a really sexy two and a half hour make out session that consisted of pretty much everything except sex. Before they fell asleep together in their underwear covered by the blanket from the back of the couch. His arms tight around her body as they slept. A few hours later his cell phone alarm went off and it was time for him to go again.

They got up and Olivia made coffee as he took a quick shower. Then it was time for her to take him back to the airport again. Things were quiet for a little while in the car. Olivia looked at him and smiled. Jack smiled back at her. He had an amazing smile and perfect white teeth.

"Jack," she said softly, "what exactly are we?"

He looked at her and smiled again. "What?"

"I mean we are like really good friends who kiss and make out a lot and fall asleep together half naked. What is that? Are we even dating?"

"Olivia…"

"You can call me Liv."

"Liv," he said with a smile, "I thought…I mean I guess I just assumed….that you were my girlfriend. If that is not what you wanted…"

"No," she cut him off. "I mean yes, that is what I was hoping you would say. I just was not sure. I mean, we didn't really talk about it. And I have never been in this kind of relationship before, so I was not sure."

Jack touched the side of her face gently and kissed her as they got out of the car and walked back in to the airport. He had put his uniform back on and right now she was really wishing she had taken things just a little further on the sofa a few hours earlier. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone, but after things with Elliot went bad she really wanted to make sure this was something that was going to last before she got too involved with Jack.

"I'm going to miss you," he said turning to hug her.

She snuggled in against his chest and closed her eyes just breathing him in as he held her.

"I'm going to miss you too," she leaned her head up and kissed him softly.

"But a buddy of mine has a few New Your flights coming up in the next month or so, I'm gonna try to get him to switch me so I can come visit you again."

Olivia held his hand tight in hers as they walked toward his gate.

"The next time you come visit me it will have to be in Denver," she shifted her eyes up to look in to his waiting for his reaction.

"You took the job?"

"I need some time on my own. Time away from things here to find myself again. I called Captain Brooks in Denver this morning and told him I was accepting the position."

"Wow. Have you told anyone here yet?"

"My boss knows. But I have not told Elliot."

"Elliot is your partner?"

"Yeah. But it is more than that," she exhaled deeply. "You don't have time for me to get in to it."

Jack looked at his watch. "Actually I am ready to go. I just have to wait for them to board. I can spare a few minutes for my girlfriend," he said with a smile a she kissed her.

"God, I don't even know where to start. Elliot and I have been partners for eleven years now. But we are….were much more than that. He is also my best friend."

"And you have not told him you are moving?"

"Something happened. We had been interested in each other for a long time and just kind of ignored it because it wasn't appropriate. He was married and had children and we worked together. Then he and his wife separated several months back. They filed for divorce and were just waiting to go to court for it to be over. He and I decided to take a chance and we dated for two months. Then one night she called him and said they needed to talk. When he came back he told me that she was pregnant again and he had decided to go back home to her and take responsibility for his family. I have never been more hurt by any relationship in my life. I understand why he did it. And I cannot honestly say that at least part of me thinks it was the right thing to do. But I got hurt, I was in love with him for years. And I felt…I feel betrayed by him as a friend. Anyway, I have kind of been a little bitchy to him a lot lately and for the most part I think it is because I am so afraid of telling him that I am leaving."

"Do you still love him?"

"I'm trying really hard to love someone new," she said reaching for his hand.

"And how is that going?"

Olivia smiled at him. "Really well."

Jack leaned in and kissed her.

"I don't want to hurt him. He is my best friend and I don't want to lose him completely. I need him in my life. Please understand that."

"You think I would try to take away your best friend?"

"Well, I can't say that if your best friend were a woman and I found out you had slept with her I would want you spending time alone with her!"

"Liv, I trust you. Okay? You told me that you want this relationship and there is nothing romantic between you and Elliot anymore, I believe you. But I think you need to talk to him. You need to get all of these feelings and all of the hurt resolved before you leave or it will just come between you."

"I am just worried he is going to think I am just doing this to get away from him."

"Is that why you are doing it?"

"No. I mean, maybe a little. But I'm doing it for me. It is a good opportunity for me."

"Then you are doing the right thing. You can still come back here and visit and call each other. You can still be friends. And if you get to Denver and realize it was not what you wanted, you can come back Olivia."

"Yeah. So you think I am making the right decision?"

"I think that if it is something you are even remotely interested in, then you owe it to yourself to at least give it a shot. Otherwise you will spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. Liv, you cannot be afraid to take chances in life. That is the only way to get what you want, what you deserve. Sometimes those chances don't work out the way we had hoped they would and we get burned. But you cannot let that keep you from going after the things you want in life."

She smiled at him. "You're right."

"Of course I am," he said nudging her with his shoulder. Jack leaned in and kissed her. "Did that help any?"

"Yeah, it really did."

"Good. Listen, you call me if you need me. I am here for you." He kissed her cheek softly.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"I'd better go," he said standing up as they gave the final boarding call for his flight.

"I will call you tomorrow."

"Okay," she said with a smile.

They hugged and kissed and said their goodbye. Then she watched as he boarded his plane and moments later it took off.

The next day Olivia got a dozen roses at work with no card, but she knew who they were from. Jack knew that she had not told Elliot about him yet so this was his way of showing her that he cared without forcing her to explain who Jack was.

Elliot sat across from her all day and watched her daydream. He had seen her do this before and the last time it was over him. He knew by the way she was acting that there was a new man in her life. He just couldn't understand why she was trying so hard to hide him from Elliot.

That night Olivia had began to pack a few things in to boxes when she got a call from Elliot. He was still in Manhattan and wanted to know if they could get a drink and talk. An hour later she met him at a bar and they had a couple of beers.

Elliot confronted her about this new man in her life and Olivia told him that she had met someone.

"Is it serious?" He asked staring in to her eyes.

"Well, we just met not to long ago. But I am hoping it will be."

"What is he like?"

"He's a good guy El." She just looked at him trying to defend Jack.

"Olivia, I am glad that you have met someone that can make you happy. I'm not trying to pry here. Just making conversation. My best friend has a new man in her life, I would like to know about him. But as my ex-girlfriend, I understand if you are not comfortable talking about him with me."

"No, it's okay. Elliot, I don't want us to be weird around each other. I miss the way things were before."

"So do I."

She looked at him for a minute and he leaned in to kiss her forehead, but turned away catching himself before he did.

"So tell me about this new guy."

"His name is Jack. And he is an airline pilot."

"He treats you nice?"

"Yes. He is such a gentleman. And he is really sweet. From the south, he was raised in Georgia. He is still close with his mother and sees her as often as he can."

"He's the reason you left early yesterday?"

"Yes. He was in town, but only for a few hours between flights. He came over and I cooked him dinner. I wish you could meet him, El. I really think you two would get along great."

"Well, maybe next time he is in town."

She looked down at the bar. "Yeah, maybe. It is after midnight and we have to work tomorrow, I should be going."

"Liv, I am glad that you have found someone who makes you smile."

"Thanks Elliot." She patted his shoulder with her hand then headed out the door catching a cab and heading home. It was Tuesday night and she had to find a way to tell him that she was leaving for Denver on Saturday.

The next day passed quickly and before she knew it, it was Thursday night. Olivia sat in the living room floor packing a box as she thought about how to break this to Elliot. There was no way around it, this was going to hurt him. She leaned across the coffee table and picked up her cordless phone dialing his cell number.

"El, hey. Umm, are you still in the city? Good. Is there any way you could come by for a little while. I need to talk to you about something really important. I was thinking I could order a pizza and we could just talk for a little while. Okay, I will see you in a little while."

She felt a knot in her stomach as she hung up the phone and almost wanted to cry dreading his reaction. But she owed it to herself to at least give this a try.

Twenty minutes later Elliot arrived with a pizza and a six pack of beer.

"What's going on?"

Elliot walked around the corner and saw the stack of boxes she had been packing.

"Olivia?"

"Elliot, I need to tell you something and I need you to listen. Don't get angry, just let me finish." She felt the tears already starting to fall from her face.

"I put in for a transfer. It was right after we broke up. I sent in a resume online to a department in Colorado looking for a Senior Detective for their Special Victims Unit. I never dreamed they would be interested in me. I didn't even think I was qualified. But they contacted me for an interview. I flew out there a week and a half ago and that was when I met Jack."

She wiped a tear from her cheek and sniffled.

"I got the job, Elliot. And I have been thinking about it for the last week trying to decide what to do. There are so many reasons for me to go there and try something new, but really only one reason for me to stay. My best friend."

She sat down on the couch and broke down crying.

Elliot sat beside her and wiped tears from her face as he pulled her against him.

"I need this, Elliot. I just need a chance for something new. I have been in this city my entire life. I need a change."

"I know. You have not been happy here for a while. And this mess I got you in to didn't help matters any. I don't want you to go, Liv. But I want you to be happy. I don't know what I will do not seeing you every day, like I have the last eleven years."

She took a deep breath and stood up as she walked across the room and picked up her beer off the counter then headed up to the roof. Somehow things always seemed clearer up there. There was so much she wanted….needed to say to him and she didn't know how.

Olivia sat down on the ledge and looked out across the other roof tops in her neighborhood as Elliot stood beside her.

He laughed a little. "Think of all the conversations we have shared on this roof."

She smiled. "That's not all we shared up here."

Elliot looked into her eyes and she started crying again.

"Hey," he walked to her and hugged her tight. "We are still going to be close, okay? A few stated cannot break apart a friendship like ours."

She looked up at him and nodded.

"When do you go?"

"The movers are coming tomorrow. I am supposed to leave out Saturday. And I start work in Colorado Monday morning."

Elliot wrapped his arms around her as she cried.

"You know Liv, if it is bothering you this much maybe you should just stay."

"No, I want to go. I need to go. I just don't know how I am going to do this without you."

He smiled at her and combed his fingers through her hair.

"You could stay. You still have the apartment and you have not quit this job yet."

"Elliot, I can't stay here and watch while you and Kathy live out my dreams together. I don't want to feel like this, but I do. I have a chance to make a new life for myself and I think I need to take it. For now anyway, I know without a doubt that this is what is best for me. It is just hard to say goodbye."

"We still have tomorrow. What time do you leave Saturday?"

"I have to be out of here by ten at the latest to get there when they deliver my things."

"Okay, so tomorrow night we should all go out for drinks. And Saturday morning, I want to take you out for breakfast."

"I still have so much I need to do, Elliot."

"So I will help you. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't hurt to let you go. But I have two choices here. I can be a jerk about it and waste our last few days together and you go anyway." Elliot slipped his hand into hers and held it. "Or I can help you and make sure our last few days here together before you leave are good ones. Either way I am going to miss you like crazy."

She laughed through her tears as she noticed him tearing up as well.

"But I am still here for you, Liv. I am still your best friend and we will keep in touch, right?"

"Yeah."

They stood up and he hugged her tight. "Olivia, I am so sorry that I ever hurt you. That was never my intention. And I can't tell you how many times I have wondered if I made the right decision that night."

She closed her eyes and Elliot could feel the warm wetness of her tears as they began to soak through his shirt.

"You did, Elliot. You did what was right for you and your family. I know that. I know that you didn't hurt me on purpose and I am not even upset about it anymore. I want you to know that is not why I am doing this. It is hard for me to see you with Kathy, but that really doesn't have anything to do with this either. Bottom line here is for whatever reason, Something inside me needs to get out of here. Away from this city. I need something new. And I think this is it."

"You know if you get out there to Colorado and it isn't all you thought it would be. You always have a place here. Friends, family waiting for you." Elliot reached up and brushed her tears away with his thumb. "I love you, Olivia Benson. You are my best friend and my family and I will love you always, no matter what." He kissed her forehead and hugged her again.

"I love you too, El."

Saturday morning after breakfast Elliot took her back to the apartment to help her load the last few boxes into her car. He closed the trunk and pulled her into his arms holding her there for a few moments. He felt tears on his face as he exhaled and wiped them away.

Olivia exhaled deeply and laughed as she wiped her own tears away.

"Call me when you get there, let me know you made it safe."

"Okay."

Elliot picked her hand up and laced his fingers through hers.

They had promised they would keep in touch, but something inside him felt like he was losing her forever.

He kissed her gently on the forehead as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she smiled at him. Olivia couldn't speak. Instead she just stared into his eyes and somehow he knew everything she was trying to say. He smiled at her and nodded his head as she nodded hers back to him and climbed into the car.

Elliot watched from the curb as she drove out of town, out of state and out of his life. He couldn't tell her that his heart was breaking watching her go. He had made his choice and let her go. Now she was really gone and he realized how big a mistake he may have made.


	6. 6 Love, Life & Heartache

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Six: Love, Life & Heartache)_

It had been three weeks since she had left and Elliot was lost with out her. He had gotten so used to the fact that she would always be there beside him and now there when he turned around there was no one. Olivia had called him Sunday afternoon to let him know she had made it Colorado okay. But he had only heard from her a couple of times since. She was busy with her new life.

There wasn't a day that passed that she was not on his mind. Remembering all of the good and bad times they had over the years. Cragen had promised to find him a new partner soon, but the truth was Elliot would rather work alone forever than to try to find someone to replace her. No one ever would. She was more than a partner to him, she was his best friend and at one point in time the center of his entire world. Before he screwed things up, that is.

Elliot sat at his desk staring at the phone, wanting so badly to call her and just hear her voice. But she was busy, out working with her new partner in her new life and he was not a part of that life. He could not help but wonder if Olivia missed him as much as he was missing her.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia stood in her kitchen cutting up peppers for a stir fry. She still hadn't quite adjusted to her new life here alone and sometimes wondered if she had made the right decision. Her new partner, Ethan Rhodes, was a rookie who spent most of his time trying to get into her pants, rather than focusing on their cases. He was cocky and annoying and Olivia could barely stand him. He was however a very good Detective when he was able to focus his attention where it belonged. Rhodes was in his early thirties, single and remotely attractive, but not in any way her type. Besides she had learned her lesson about sleeping with people you work with when she got involved with Elliot. And she had a wonderful and extremely attractive boyfriend who would be arriving any minute.

Jack knew that she had been having a little trouble adjusting to her new life and could tell when he spoke to her on the phone how lonely she was. So he pulled a few strings and cashed in a few days vacation time to come see her for the weekend. Olivia was excited.

A few minutes later she heard a the door bell ring. A smile immediately crossed her face as she opened the door to see Jack standing there in his work uniform holding a dozen roses.

"I am so glad to see you," she said as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

"I missed you so much baby," he mumbled between her kisses as he back them inside the apartment. "It smells wonderful in here," Jack said sitting down a small suitcase of his clothes.

"Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes. Come on, I will show you the apartment."

Olivia held him by the hand and guided him through her new place as they talked about everything that had happened over the past few days.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Jack said as he laid his bag on her bed and unzipped it. "Here." He handed her a small gift box that contained a small dragon fly pendant on a silver chain.

"Jack, it is so pretty. Thank you."

She held her hair up as he fastened the necklace for her.

"Happy Anniversary," he said smiling at her with his perfect smile and his green eyes sparkling.

"I didn't think you would remember," she said softly opening the night stand drawer and handing him a gift box as well.

"How could I forget?" He smiled at her again as he opened the box. Inside was a gold watch with diamond accents and matching cuff links.

"Do you like it? I had no idea what to get you."

"I love it." He kissed her and smiled again as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. "One month, it seems like it has been a lot longer than that."

"Hey," she said smiling at him.

"I mean I feel like I have known you my entire life."

"So do I."

"I think that is a good thing."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." He kissed her lips gently. "And," he opened a paper bag he had carried in with him and pulled out a bottle of wine.

Olivia laughed.

"It is the kind you had at the restaurant on our first date. I thought we should celebrate."

"Aww." She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him as his arms fell around her and pulled her tight to him. "I am really glad you are here," she said softly as he kissed her lips.

"Me, too."

"Let's eat."

After dinner they cuddled up on the couch together. Jack pulled her into his arms and held her tight as they actually watched an entire movie together. Olivia closed her eyes and laid her cheek against his shoulder as she took a deep breath drawing in the scent of his aftershave. She tipped her head back and gently kissed his neck as she loosened his tie. A few minutes later they were making out on the couch once more.

Olivia stood up and pulled him by the hand as she lead him down the hallway toward the bedroom.

"Yeah?" He asked staring in to her eyes.

"Yeah," she said softly. "I can't think of a better time and there is nothing else I would rather do," she whispered softly as he kissed her passionately.

"Olivia, I don't have anything. I wasn't planning on this."

"I'm on the pill," she said softly as she pushed him back against the bed and unbuttoned his shirt.

She moved her hands over his chest and continued to kiss him as he moved his hands to unbutton her jeans.

"I have something for you," she said softly looking into his eyes as he laid back on the bed.

"Oh, you do huh?"

"Yes, I do."

She climbed from the bed and pulled something from the dresser and walked into the bathroom. A few minutes later she returned wearing a knee length satin own. Jack stared into her eyes and smiled as she approached him.

"You planned this?"

"Well, it is our anniversary."

He smiled up at her as he guided his fingers over the silky material feeling every curve of her body. The gown was black with little pink dots and a slit in one side that showed just a glimpse of the matching bikini underwear she wore underneath.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as she pushed him back on the bed and leaned in over him.

Olivia kissed him passionately and before she knew it his uniform and her gown were crumpled up together in her bedroom floor. And they were engaged in amazing sex rolling around between her Egyptian cotton sheets. Jack was so sweet and slow with her. Kissing her passionately and caressing every inch of her body with his strong hands. He took his time and did everything right.

When they had finished he held her tight against him and kissed her gently.

"That was definitely worth the wait," he whispered softly staring into her eyes.

"Yes it was," she replied softly.

Olivia spent that night sleeping in his arms. And in the morning when they woke, they made love again. Infact they spent the biggest part of that first day in bed together. Making love then passing out in each others arms and waking up only to do it again.

That night Jack took her to dinner in their restaurant. The one they had shared that first perfect night in together one month earlier. They shared a romantic meal and danced together as he held her in his arms. Olivia closed her eyes and tried to memorize every moment with him, knowing in just a few short hours she would be without him once again.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"I have never been better," she said smiling at him. And in that moment, she realized that she had fallen in love with him.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot sat in the waiting room with Kathy as half a dozen pregnant women sat around reading parenting magazines. Today was the day they would find out the sex of their baby. Elliot should have been excited. And he was, but not nearly as much as he was worried. But not about Kathy or the baby or even the pregnancy. He was worried about Olivia and how she was getting along in Colorado.

He looked down at his watch, they had been waiting now for over an hour and Kathy had to pee again. Elliot held her purse as she made her way to the rest room. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked to see if it was working. No missed calls. He exhaled loudly and punched in Olivia's number. He placed his finger on the send button as he stared at the Olivia's name on the screen.

"Elliot?" He heard Kathy's voice from across the room just as he was about to hit send. "Elliot, they are ready for us."

Elliot closed his phone and slipped it into his pocket. Then stood up and walked back with Kathy. An hour later they left the office with the latest sonogram pictures of the baby, which clearly revealed they were expecting a little boy.

"Elliot, are you okay?" Kathy asked from across the car.

"I'm fine Kath, why?"

"No reason. You have just been acting a little strange lately, that's all."

"Strange?" He turned to look at her.

"Yeah, distant. It is like we are in the same room but you are not really here most of the time. What is on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Elliot, if we are going to make this work you have to talk to me. Open communication, remember? That was one of the things on our list."

By their list she meant the page full of things they both felt that they needed to improve to create a successful marriage. But how could he talk to her about this? How could he tell her that it was Olivia that he had dated while they were separated. And Olivia that he had made love to so many nights and held tight in his arms. And Olivia he could not get off his mind. Lately he saw her everywhere. Everything reminded him of her. Strangers on the street or women in the elevator wearing her perfume. And last night when he made love to Kathy it was Olivia's face he saw. In his mind it was her lips he was kissing and her soft warm body he was holding. And at one point it was almost her name he called out as he reached his climax.

Kathy woke up that morning and greeted him with a kiss. She smiled and talked about how that was the best it had ever been between them. How could he break it to her that is was not her he was making love to, but Olivia.

"Hey," she said from across the car.

"Yeah?"

"What is it?"

Elliot just shook his head. "Work I guess."

"El, it's Olivia….isn't it?"

Elliot's eyes widened and his heart pounded at the sound of Kathy's voice saying her name.

"What about her?" He asked afraid of where this conversation may lead.

"You are worried about her."

"Yes, I am. I have not heard from her in almost two weeks."

"Elliot, she is a grown woman. She can take care of her self. She doesn't need big brother looking after her all of the time. Liv is a strong woman, she will be okay on her own."

Kathy patted his shoulder.

Yes, Liv would be okay on her own. Elliot was sure of that. But could he survive here with out her?

"I'm sure you are right."

"If you are so worried about her, call her."

"You don't think that would just make her angry?"

"No. Elliot she is your best friend. She will be glad to hear from you. And she would probably make her feel good to know that you worry about her."

Elliot stared at Kathy knowing that her suggestion would be completely different if she had fully known the entire situation between he and Olivia.

"I'll try after we get back to the house."

Kathy smoothed her hand over his shoulder and laid her head against it. But it didn't quite have the same effect that it did when Olivia used to lay her head there. God he missed her.

Back at the house Elliot went into the bedroom and locked the door for privacy as he dialed Olivia's cell phone number. He sat down on the edge of the bed as a recording echoed through his ear.

"The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service."

Elliot felt his heart sink into his stomach as he closed the phone in his hand. He sat alone in the bedroom staring at the wall ahead of him feeling almost sick for letting her go the way he did. And now it was too late to tell her how he felt about her.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Another month had passed and Jack and Olivia were getting along great. He managed to make it to Denver about once a week now to see her. Sometimes it would be only for a few hours until he had to leave out again and sometimes she would have him all to herself for a few days before he had to leave again. Every moment between them filled with passion and romance, holding tight to one another until they were forced to part once more.

She sat at her desk at work waiting for him to call her and tell her what time his flight would be in that night. Olivia had not seen him in six days and this time he would be home for the three day weekend. Jack was going to spend tonight at her apartment with her and in the morning he was flying her to Maine to spend the weekend at his place and show her around the little town.

Olivia was excited. She could not wait to spend three entire days with him, falling asleep in his arms each night and waking up in them each morning. She was working on her paperwork when the phone on her desk rang. Olivia looked at it for a second then picked it up.

"Benson," she said holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she typed.

"Olivia," the voice on the other line said. "The call on line one is for you," Mary from the front desk said sweetly.

"Thanks Mary."

Olivia pushed the flashing button to pick the line.

"Benson."

She waited for a moment, but heard nothing.

"Hello? This is Detective Olivia Benson, is anyone there?"

She held the phone against her shoulder as her new partner approached her asking some questions about a file. He cracked a stupid joke making her laugh. Olivia pressed the phone against her shoulder to cover the mouth piece and spoke to him for just a moment before returning her attention to the call.

"Hello? Well, okay then. Call me back when you are ready to talk," she said as she hung up the phone and returned to work.

"That was strange," she said looking up at Ethan.

"What is that?"

"Mary said I had a call. I picked it up but there was no one there."

"Maybe it was Jack."

"Maybe. But I would think Jack would have called my cell phone."

She got up from her desk and walked to the lobby area out front.

"Hey Mary, did you happen to get a name from that caller?"

"No, honey. I'm sorry, I didn't."

"Hmm. Was is a man or a woman?"

"A man."

Olivia smiled. "I'm sure it was Jack. Thanks, Mary."

Olivia walked back to her desk and picked up her cell phone and dialed Jack's number.

"Hello," he said in a sexy voice.

"Hi there," she said sweetly.

"Hey baby. We are looking at about five thirty."

"Okay, I will be there. I miss you."

"I miss you too sweetheart."

The next morning she and Jack boarded a plane headed for Maine. This was the first time she had ever flown with him as the pilot. Before take off Jack brought her on board and showed her the cockpit of the plane.

"I'm sorry you can't sit up here with me."

"It's okay. I will be fine in the back. I know I'm safe if you are flying the plane. Besides, you got me a first class ticket."

"Only the best for my baby," he said as he kissed her lips.

"They will start boarding in a few minutes."

"I should probably sake my seat."

"I'll walk you back. I have a few friends I would like to introduce you to."

Olivia smiled at the thought of him introducing her to his friends.

They arrived at his apartment around three o'clock. The place was small but nice and very much a bachelor pad. Jack gave her the tour of the apartment then lead her out onto the balcony. From there you could see the shore of the coast a few miles away.

"I have an idea," he said with a smile.

"Why don't we go down and pick up some lobsters and I will cook for you?"

"That sounds great."

Jack laced his fingers in hers and kissed her lips tenderly. "I missed you so much. I think about you every second I am not by your side."

"You are so good to me."

"I love you, Olivia." He watched her waiting for a reaction, not quite sure if it was too soon for this.

She stared ahead at the water for a few moments then looked into his eyes.

"I love you, too." She smiled at him and he kissed her again.

"You had me worried there for a minute. I thought for sure I had scared you off, just blurting it out like that. I wasn't sure if it was too soon. But I have felt it for a while now and I didn't want the first time I said it to be over the phone from some other country." He laced his fingers in hers again. "I wanted to be standing here beside you so I could kiss you."

"I'm glad you said it. I have been thinking it too. I just wasn't sure how to say it without seeming like some crazy woman."

"I mean it, you know? I do love you."

She smiled at him and her eyes sparkled. "And I love you."

Jack wrapped his arms tight around her. "Let's go get the stuff for dinner."

Jack cooked the most amazing lobster dinner and they had a romantic candle light dinner with wine. Olivia hadn't eaten anything all day and by the start of her second glass of wine she was feeling a little queasy. Jack put on some soft music and opened the patio door. He held her hand in his and lead her out to the balcony where he held her tight as they slow danced under the blue light of the full moon.

They held tight to each other and swayed gently back and forth to the music as Olivia closed her eyes and placed her head against his shoulder. She held tight to his waist as she felt the gentle rocking motion of him leading her in the dance.

That was it, she couldn't fight it anymore. Olivia broke free of his arms and dashed down the hall to the bathroom where she emptied the entire contents of her stomach. She sat in the floor in front of the toilet and gasped for air. She was pretty sure that everything that had gone in had already been forced out, but she leaned over it and threw up again. She groaned and held her hand over her stomach as it churned wondering if she was finished. She sat in the floor for a second then reached up and flushed the toilet. She stood up and turned the water on rinsing her mouth and washing her face as she stared into the mirror. She looked like hell. She reached for her bag off the back of the sink and pulled out her tooth brush.

A few minutes later Jack tapped on the door.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she mumbled through a mouth full of tooth paste. "I'll be out in just a minute." She rinsed her mouth and patted her face dry with a hand towel. She took a deep breath and walked slowly back out to the living room.

Jack walked up and handed her a glass of water.

"Are you okay?"

"This is humiliating. Jack, I am so sorry."

"Baby, you're sick. That is not anything to be sorry for."

"No, I'm not sick. I am fine now. I didn't eat anything today. Then I ate lobster, which was delicious by the way. But that mixed with wine on an empty stomach. Was not such a great idea."

Jack kissed her forehead. "Baby, you still look a little pale. Why don't we go on to bed. We can lay in there and watch a movie or something."

"I don't want to mess up the evening, it is still early. And you planned this perfect weekend."

"Olivia, I am here with you. That makes it perfect. Let me take care of you."

He kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes.

"Let's go to bed," he whispered softly.

"Okay," she said pressing her forehead to his and staring into his eyes.

Jack watched television for a few hours, but Olivia fell asleep in his arms within a few minutes. He held her and watched her sleep. He pulled the blankets up around her and kissed her forehead. "I love you," he whispered softly. Then he turned out the light and went to sleep as well.

When Jack woke up the next morning Olivia was already up and out of bed. He walked down the hall to find her brushing her teeth in front of the bathroom mirror.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," she said with a mouth full to tooth paste. She rinsed her mouth and turned to kiss him.

"Are you sure?"

"Jack, I am fine." She looked up at him and smiled again as she laughed and pushed him back down the hall toward the bedroom to take advantage of him.

That afternoon Jack took her to a place just outside of town.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" She asked with a smile.

"I want to show you something."

He pulled onto an old farm and drove across the property toward the barn.

"What is this place?"

"A buddy of mine owns it. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Gorgeous."

He kissed her lips then ran ahead of her toward the barn. "Come on!"

Olivia laughed and followed him.

He slid open a large metal door to reveal a small plane. Olivia watched him as his eyes lit up. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Yes," she smiled trying to show an interest in whatever it was he liked.

"This is a 1953 Cessna 180. Rebuilt of course. This is the exact same kind of plane Jerry Mock set a world record in."

"Oh," she said trying to pretend she had some clue what he was talking about.

Jack laughed and kissed her. "You have no clue what I am even talking about, do you?"

Olivia laughed. "No, I'm sorry."

"Jerry or Geraldine Mock set a world record as the first woman to ever fly solo around the world. I got this plane from a salvage yard and my buddy and I spent two years rebuilding her. We even painted it as an exact replica of the plane Mock flew in her famous trip. I named her Jerry, after Geraldine Mock."

"That is really cool."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You want to take her up?"

"What?"

"Yeah, we have a few hours before dark. I'll show you how it works."

"Okay." Olivia's eyes lit up. The thought of learning something new was always exciting to her.

Jack helped her into the plane and explained all of the gages and levers and switches to her. He turned on the engines and pulled the plane slowly out of the barn and into an open field ahead of them. A few minutes later they were thousands of feet above the ground and all of the world was far below them.

Jack reached over and took Olivia's hand in his.

"What do you think?"

"It's amazing. Everything is so beautiful."

"You want to fly it?"

Olivia looked confused and shook her head. "I'm good, thanks."

Jack laughed. "Come here," he said scooting her closer to him. "It is not that hard. I will teach you."

Olivia looked worried.

Jack wrapped his arm around her and pulled her onto his lap in the tiny cockpit of the plane. Olivia's heart was pounding as she looked at Jack with doubt in her eyes.

"It's alright, you can do it. I won't let you fall," he said as he placed his hands over hers to steer the plane. "See."

"What, this is me? I'm doing this?" She asked nervously.

Jack let go and let her take over.

"It's all you baby."

Olivia laughed. "I'm flying a plane. Oh my God."

"You are going just fine. You can play with it a bit, if you want. You do this we go this way and this takes us that way."

Olivia looked into his eyes and mouthed I love you, then leaned in and kissed him.

Back on the ground Jack pulled the plane back into the barn and turned off the engine.

"What did you think?"

"I had the most amazing time, thank you for this."

"No problem. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She leaned in and kissed him. As he felt her heart pounding from the excitement of the day.

"Leaves you full of adrenaline, huh? You don't know what to do with it."

She smiled, "I have an idea." She climbed over him on the seat and began kissing him.

He attempted to move them to the other seat but he fell into the floor between them. As she crawled over him and they had sex right there in the plane.

Afterward Olivia sat up trying to put her clothes back on. While fumbling around she hit her head on the wall of the plane.

"Careful," Jack said kissing the top of her head as they both laughed. "Apparently it is much easier to take your clothes off in a small plane than it is to put them back on."

That night in bed while he was holding her after making love again Jack picked up her hand and brought it to his lips.

"I was thinking…."

Olivia raised her head to look at him.

"We should work on getting you your pilot's license."

"Why?"

"So you can take me flying."

Olivia smiled against his chest.

"Yeah," she laughed.

"I am serious. I mean if it is something you would be interested in. I could teach you."

She sat up in the bed and wrapped the sheet around her. "They just hand those out to anyone?"

"Well, anyone who can learn it and passes the examine. Liv, it is not that hard. I'm not trying to push you. I just thought if you were interested that would be something great we could do together. You did great today."

"You were right there."

"I was, but you did it on your own. I showed you what to do and I let you take over. You did really well."

She looked across the room for a minute.

"You really think I could learn it?"

"Yes, I mean if you want to. I am not trying to push you in to it Olivia. If you are not interested that is okay too, just tell me baby and I will drop it."

"No, I am interested. How long will it take?"

"It usually takes about four to six months, sometimes more. But we could get it done in six. Of course you would have to come here to get in your flight hours."

Olivia smiled. "I don't know realistically if we will have time for it. I mean with both of our schedules the way they are. But I would love to try."

"Okay."

The next day the got up and packed their things and headed for the airport to go back to Denver. Jack was flying back with her today and tomorrow morning they both had to go back to work. He went ahead to check on their tickets. This time he was sitting with her instead of flying the plane.

Olivia wondered around the airport gift shop looking, wasting time until he returned. She stared down into the glass case next to the counter.

"Can I help you miss?"

"I will take this, this and one of those." She said pointing into the case as the woman bagged her items and rang up her purchases.

"Liv, we are boarding," Jack announced to her as she tucked the paper bag into her purse and followed him to the plane.

Olivia held his hand until after take off. Twenty minutes into the flight she excused herself and headed to the tiny airplane bathroom. She stepped inside and turned the lock to occupied as she sat her purse on the counter and pulled out the white paper bag. She pulled out her purchases from the gift shop. A pack of gum, Dramamine and a pregnancy test. Olivia took a deep breath and opened the box.


	7. 7 Safe With Me

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Seven: Safe With Me)_

Back in Denver Olivia sat on the sofa holding the remote in her hand as Jack cooked them dinner. Her mind was a thousand miles away and he was starting to pick up on it.

"Liv?"

"Yeah," she said shifting her attention from the television to him.

"I asked if you liked mushrooms on pizza?"

"Oh, yeah."

He was making his special homemade pizza for her.

"You want a glass of wine?"

"Not tonight," she said softly as she sat down on the barstool.

Jack poured her a glass of iced tea and walked over to stand beside her. He pulled her waist toward him and wrapped her legs around him then kissed her as he stared into her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Olivia smiled. "Talk about what?"

"Whatever it is that is keeping you so far away from me right now. Where are you?"

"I'm here," she said taking his hand in hers. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Olivia, we had a carefree weekend and now you have a lot on your mind?"

She lifted her eyes to look into his.

"I don't know. I guess it just really hit me that you are leaving tomorrow. And I am going to be alone here again."

"I'll be back on Thursday and I wont have to leave again until Saturday morning."

"I know. I just miss you so much when you are gone," She wrapped her arms tight around his waist and hugged him.

Jack kissed her tenderly. "I love you, Olivia Benson."

She smiled, "I love you too, Jackson Crawford."

"I'd better get this pizza in the oven."

"Yes, I am starving."

After dinner that sat curled up together on the couch watching television. After a little while Olivia's cell phone rang and she went into the bedroom to talk to Ethan about something with their case. A few minutes later she returned.

"Jack, can we talk?"

"Sure sweetheart," he turned off the television and looked up at her noticing the tears in her eyes. He sat up and patted the couch beside him motioning for her to join him. "What's up, Liv?"

She approached him slowly and opened her hand revealing the pregnancy test strip in her hand and the little pink plus sign in the window.

Jack sat quiet for a minute then looked up at her as tears fell from her eyes.

"Hey, come here."

Olivia sat on the couch beside him.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear."

"Honey, calm down. So we are pregnant?"

Olivia nodded her head.

Jack reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'm going to be a daddy?" He laughed and smiled at her. "I am going to be a daddy?"

"Jack wait," she took a deep breath and felt like she couldn't breathe. "I'm not sure…. I mean, I don't know how far I am."

"It isn't mine?"

"I don't know, for sure. I have not had a period since right before I broke up with Elliot. But with the break up and the move, the stress. Sometimes I am just late. This time I was really late. I didn't think….I was on the pill. I got the test in the airport gift shop and took it on the plane. I wanted to tell you before you left again. I am sorry."

"I'm not."

"No, I don't mean I am sorry about the baby. I am sorry that I can't tell you for sure if it is yours. I'll make an appointment this week. Once I find out my due date I will know."

"How?"

"Because, Elliot and I were together the night before we broke up. Three days later I met you in Denver. But you and I were not together until a month later. So I would have gotten pregnant within the last month. If it is Elliot's baby, then I would be about ten…" she closed her eyes to think, "eleven weeks or more." She took a deep breath.

"Are you going to tell him?"

Olivia looked at Jack. "If it were yours wouldn't you want to know?"

"Yes."

"I have to Jack. He deserves to know. I don't want to say anything until I know for sure."

"So what happens to us?"

"What?"

"If it is his baby? Olivia I love you. I want to be with you."

"If it is his baby, nothing changes. If you don't want it to. I will call Elliot and tell him because he deserves to know. But I still want to be with you."

"I don't want to know."

"Jack?"

"No, Liv. I love you and I want you and this baby. I don't want to find out that it isn't mine. I just….I just want a life with you. You , me and this baby. And if it is his, do you think he will leave New York? Do you think he will leave his wife and other kids and come here?"

"I don't know what he will do. But he needs to make that choice, not me."

"I don't want to lose you."

"Jack, you are not going to lose me. Even if Elliot did come here for the baby, I am with you now. I love you."

"Olivia, I just don't want to know. In my mind and in my heart this is my baby. I understand that you need to know and why you need him to know. But I really want to be a part of this baby's life either way."

"You do?"

"Of course. I can't just wake up one day and not love him or her anymore because he isn't mine. Love doesn't work like that. You either love someone or you don't. I love you and I love this baby. No matter how this turns out."

Olivia smiled. "I guess there is no reason anything has to change. This kid would just have two amazing father figures in his or her life instead of just one. It really would not be any different than if I had gotten pregnant and had the baby before and then we broke up and I got with you. You would still be the other guy in this kids life. And I think it is sweet that you want to be a part of this either way."

"Yes, but what is Elliot going to think?"

"I think he will meet you and think about it and realize that I am truly happy for the first time in a long time. I think he will realize that you are good for me and this baby and accept you."

"You do?"

"Well, it will probably take a little while. Elliot has always had this thing where he does not think any man I have ever dated was good enough for me. And he would always try to find some way to scare them off or get me to dump them. Of course, he was usually right. I don't have the best dating record. Until you and Elliot, pretty much everyone I dated was a real loser."

"He cares a lot about you Olivia."

"Yeah. I miss that."

"You miss him?"

"I miss my friend."

"So why don't you call him?"

"Well, we talked for a little after I came here. Then we just sort of fell out of touch. I wouldn't even know what to say to him if I did call."

"He is your best friend Olivia. And I am sure he is worried sick about you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because the man watched over you for eleven years. It was his job as your partner and friend to worry about you. Then you just drop out of his life. I would go crazy if I was him."

"I'm not that hard to find, Jack. He knows I am in Colorado. And my former Captain knows exactly where I am. Elliot has not even tried to contact me. I am sure he is busy with work and Kathy and the new baby."

"You changed your number after you moved here, did you give it to him?"

"No, but there are ways of finding someone and when you work in the business we do you learn all of the tricks. If Elliot wanted to talk to me he would have found a way by now. Besides, things got really messed up after we broke up. It was almost like being close was alien to us, nothing felt natural anymore. It was almost as if we avoided each other because we didn't know how to be around each other anymore and not think of the way things were."

"Maybe he is sitting there waiting for you to call. What if he thinks you cut him out of your life because of the break up? What if he is not sure how to tell you he misses you and he is worried about you? Guys are not always that good with emotion."

"I don't know. But if I call him now….Elliot knows me. He will be able to tell that I am hiding something. And there is no need to tell him any of this if it is your baby. I need to just wait and see what happens."

"Do you think it is his?"

"I honestly don't know. We were only together one time after my last period. I was with you several times. But until I see a doctor, I honestly cannot say either way."

"You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think it is silly for you to worry about any of it now. The way you talk about Elliot he is a pretty understanding guy and I am sure no matter what happens, it will all work out. Either way Olivia, _you_ are having a baby. You guys are best friends. Wouldn't you rather it be him than one of your other ex-boyfriends? At least you know he is a good man and a good father. You know he would love this baby and take responsibility for it. And I am here. You know you are not doing any of this on your own."

"Yeah," she smiled.

Jack kissed her softly.

"It's late and we both have to get up early. We should get some sleep."

"Okay."

The next morning Olivia took Jack to the airport on her way to work. They kissed and held tight to each other until it was time for her to go. She kissed him goodbye once more and headed off to work.

Olivia sat at her desk reviewing a file when Captain Brooks called her to the front lobby.

"Olivia, can you come up here please?"

She sat wondering what was going on. His voice almost sounded like he was upset with her. She couldn't think of anything that she had done to possibly get into trouble for.

Olivia stood up from her desk and walked to the front. He was standing behind the counter.

"You wanted to see me?" She stood nervously in front of him still unsure of what was going on.

"You have a visitor," he pointed behind her and she turned around to see Jack standing in the lobby with a single white rose in his hand.

"Oh, my God." She wrapped her arms tight around him and gently kissed his lips. She looked into his eyes as they sparkled back at hers so full of love. "I though you were long gone by now."

"I was supposed to be, but I started thinking and I don't want to leave you here alone like this." He locked his fingers in hers and kissed her again. "So, I handed off my flight to a friend and took a few more days of my vacation time. I think this is where I need to be right now," he said brushing he cheek gently with his thumb.

"I am so glad you are here. Oh, I want to introduce you to everyone." She lead him by the hand around the room introducing him to Mary and her Captain and Ethan. Then she took an early lunch so that they could talk.

They picked up lunch and went to the park to eat at a table under a shade tree.

"I tried to get on that plane, Olivia. But I just couldn't do it. I know these next few days are going to be hard for you and I felt like this was where I needed to be, here beside you." He reached across the table and held her hand in his. "We are in this together, right?"

"If you want to be, yes."

"I have never wanted anything more," Jack raised her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"I made a few calls this morning, but I don't have my own doctor here so the earliest I can get an appointment is Wednesday morning." She looked into his eyes. "They will be able to tell me then how far along I am and I will have to figure out where to go from there."

"I can go with you, if you'd like."

"I would like that." She exhaled softly and looked down at the ground. "How long can you stay?"

"Well, until the end of the week if I need to. But I only have three weeks vacation for the year and I probably need to save some of that for when the baby is born."

"Jack, I am so thankful to have you in my life and in my baby's life. I love you so much." She laid the side of her face in the palm of his hand.

"I love you too, darlin'." He smiled at her and she leaned in to kiss his lips.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Five months later. The waiting room was littered with Stabler children as they all anxiously awaited the arrival of their little brother. None more so than Dickie, who until today had been plagued with three sisters and was the only male child of the family.

Elliot stood next to Kathy holding her hand tight as she pushed through another contraction. They had to be getting close, he thought as the next one came harder and faster than the last, she been pushing for nearly an hour. With that another big push and the silence was broke with his sons first cries.

Elliot cut the cord and the doctor wrapped the baby in a blue blanket and handed him off to Kathy. Elliot was proud. Another son. Seven pound ten ounce, Elliot Stabler II or Eli to be exact. Elliot leaned over and kissed his wife's lips softly as she handed him the baby.

The doctor took Kathy to get her cleaned up and Elliot carried the baby to her hospital room as the nurse showed in the crowd of older siblings to meet him. Elliot sat on the edge of the hospital bed holding his newborn son, watching as his other children gathered around him full of excitement.

But as he watched them his mind wondered. For a moment and only a moment, he wondered where she was right now. And what she was doing at this exact moment. He could not help but wish that his best friend was here to share in this moment with him. Elliot longed to touch her and kiss her and hold her again. But more than that, he just missed their friendship.

He took a deep breath as the nurse wheeled Kathy into the room in a wheel chair and he handed her the baby. She held him close to her and looked at him.

"He is definitely a Stabler," she said softly looking into the baby's blue eyes. She looked back up at Elliot as he smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

"I'm gonna go call work and tell everyone the good news."

"Elliot, stay a few minutes first." She looked at him with pleading eyes.

"I will be back in just a few minutes," he said placing a kiss on top her head.

He took a deep breath and walked to the elevator. He had to step outside and get some air. It had been weeks since he had allowed Olivia to seep from the dark corners of his memory and actually flood his thoughts, but she was in them now. It was like a dam broke inside him and she was all he could think about now.

Elliot opened his cell phone and sent a text to Fin with a picture he had taken of his new son. He scrolled down through the numbers in his phone book until he reached Olivia's name and just stared at it for a minute. He knew this was not her number anymore, but he could not bring himself to delete it.

He took a deep breath and closed the phone as he dropped it back into his pocket. He walked down to the cafeteria and got himself a cup of coffee. He had to learn to accept the fact that she was gone and get on with his life. He wanted this life with Kathy, with the kids and his new son. He chose this. So why wasn't he happy?

Elliot thought back to a day several months earlier when he had taken some not so legal means and stumbled upon some information. He took his wallet from his pocket and pulled a business card. He flipped it over and read the writing on the back side.

_**Olivia Benson **_

_**422 Westridge Lane **_

_**Apartment 9B**_

_**Denver, CO. 80201 **_

Elliot smoothed his thumb over the handwriting on the card. He looked at it for another moment then put it back into his wallet.

He thought about a phone call he had made to the Denver Police Department a few months back. He thought about how she had sounded when she answered the phone. He could hear the smile in her voice. And the way she had laughed. She was happy now and she was were she wanted to be. He didn't….couldn't talk to her that day. He had so many thoughts racing through his mind that he wanted to share with her. But the moment he heard her voice, it was as if his entire world had stopped spinning. He couldn't speak. So he just listened. For the first time in a long time he really listened to her. And he heard more than her simple words. He heard her smile and her laughter and her happiness. And he continued to listen until she hung up the phone.

Elliot climbed back onto the elevator and headed back up to Kathy's hospital room to rejoin his family. He held his son in his arms and looked into his eyes. Eli wrapped his little hand around his father's fingertip and yawned as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Elliot looked around the room at the other children as they began to slow down from sheer exhaustion. He gave Maureen the car keys and had her take the other kids home for the evening. He held the baby and walked around the hospital room in the dark as Kathy slept. He opened the blinds and he and little Eli watched out the window as the emergency helicopters landed on the roof across from them. Elliot kissed the baby's head and placed him gently into the little plastic bed as he dozed off in a chair. It had been a long and exciting night.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia laid in bed with her hand on her belly feeling the baby move inside her. Her belly was raised and getting bigger by the week and her pregnancy had been obvious for quite some time now. She rolled onto her side, but still could not get comfortable so she gave up and sat up in bed turning the television on for comfort. News of a plane crash flashed across the screen and Olivia felt her breath catch in her chest until they said the name of the airline.

She placed her hand under where the baby laid inside her as she felt her stomach churn and ran for the bathroom to vomit. She knew it was not Jack's plane. He was no where near where the crash had taken place, but it still scared her.

She got herself a glass of water and climbed back into the bed. But it was no use, she was not going to be able to rest until she heard his voice. She picked up her cell phone and dialed his number.

"Hello," a tired voice said on the other end of the line.

"Hi," she sobbed into the phone.

"Liv, baby what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just worried and needed to hear your voice. I couldn't sleep so I turned on the TV and there was a plane crash. I just get scared."

"I'm okay, sweetheart. I'm in Tulsa. In my hotel room, in bed. Thinking of you. You are having the dreams again, aren't you?"

"Not in a couple of days."

The dreams, were not really dreams at all. They were nightmares and she would wake covered in sweat barely able to breathe with her heart racing and would be so freaked out by them it made her sick nearly every time. Her doctor had said it was the hormones and that some women experienced this during pregnancy. But they were all so real and some of them had actual memories mixed into them and a few had even been about Elliot.

She took a deep breath and exhaled as she laid back into the bed.

"I miss you and I love you so much."

"I miss you too honey. I will be home tomorrow night."

"I can't wait to see you."

"How's our little girl?"

"Umm," Olivia mumbled into the phone as she placed her hand against her belly feeling the gently thump of the baby's heartbeat against her palm. "I think she is sleeping now. She has been kicking wildly all night. Up under my ribs."

"Tell her I love her and I will be home tomorrow."

"I will."

"Olivia?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."

"Goodnight," she said softly.

"Goodnight, baby."

She closed the phone and settled back into the nest like pile of pillows she had created on the bed and within moments was fast asleep.

Jack came home the next evening, his first time in her new house. Olivia had decided about a month earlier that the apartment just was not going to be big enough once her daughter had arrived and started looking for a house. Around that same time, her Captain and his wife had decided to sell their farm land and house just outside of town. Olivia was not so sure about the idea of a farm, so for now she was leasing the property with the option to buy.

The house was a large, one level and had four bedrooms, two bathrooms and a basement. It sat on twelve acres of cleared land with more land around it. In a pasture out in front of the house and across from the barn were four horses. Being from the city Olivia knew very little about horses. And what she did know she had learned at summer camp as a kid. But she loved them and they seemed to like her. She liked to take carrots and chunks of apple out to feed them over the fence and talk to them every evening around sunset. They were beautiful and very loving animals.

Her other friends around the farm included Duke and Maggie, two barn dogs that were born on the property years before. Captain Brooks had left them behind to keep Olivia company and keep wild animals from coming up around the house and getting after his horses. Duke was about a four year old Border Collie with one blue eye. And Maggie a Golden Retriever who was about six or seven years old. Olivia liked having the dogs around because she could always tell if someone was on the property. This would be helpful later when she was alone out here with the baby.

Olivia Picked Jack up at the airport and drove him out to the house. She took his hand and showed him around. A deck wrapped around one entire side of the house and each room on that side had sliding glass patio doors that opened to the large front yard. It had a large living room, a large kitchen with an island and an eat in dining room.

The master bedroom was off the kitchen and had a full bath and his and hers walk in closets. The other three bedrooms and guest bathroom were down the hall off the dining room. One of these rooms would soon serve as a nursery for her baby girl. Another an office and the third a guest room, just in case they should ever need one. In the basement was the laundry room and a den area with a pool table.

"What do you think?" She asked him with a smile.

"I like it. Are you going to buy it?"

"I don't know, maybe."

Jack smiled at her and put his hands on her belly. It was almost twice the size it was when he left a week earlier. He could feel the baby kicking inside and smiled.

"I cannot wait to meet this kid."

"Well, you are going to have to wait. At least a few more months," she laughed and put her hand under her belly again.

Jack kissed her.

"Are you hungry?"

"Baby, that is the wrong question to ask a pregnant woman. I am always hungry."

"You come in here and sit. Catch me up on things and I will cook you dinner."

"Sounds good to me," she said with a grin.

That night Olivia slept peacefully all through the night with her head against Jack's chest and his hand on her belly. She slept better than she ever had, because she knew that he was safe here with her.


	8. 8 Brown Eyed Girl

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Eight: Brown Eyed Girl)_

A few months later…..

Olivia was laying in bed next to Jack with a very not pleased look on her face.

"Don't worry about it Liv," he said trying to make her feel a little better about their failed sex attempt.

"I just don't understand how I can want it so much and it feel so bad."

"Baby, you are pregnant. It happens."

"It has never happened before."

"Well you weren't…."

Olivia glared at him daring him to finish the sentence.

"I wasn't what? I wasn't this fat then?"

"No, you weren't this far along then."

"Whatever," she snapped rolling over to face the wall. "I guess it doesn't matter that I can't do it because you don't want to anyway. Not that I blame you. I look and feel like a whale!"

She was crying again. She did a lot of this lately and Jack was never really sure when it would hit.

"Liv, you don't look like a whale. You look incredible." He rubbed her back softly. "And I would love to make love to you. But I don't want to do it if it is hurting you. Look at me. Hey," he waited a few seconds and finally she turned around.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

He placed his hand on her belly, then kissed it.

"Jack, I just feel like it has been forever since we even touched. We hardly get to see each other and then when you do come home we can't even…."

"I know. But it will be okay. We don't have to have sex every time I come home. We can just lay together like we used to do. I can still hold you."

"Maybe there is another way. A position we have not tried or something."

"Olivia, I am pretty sure we tried them all. And I'll have to admit many of them were not comfortable for me either. It says in some of your books that this is normal."

"Yeah, I guess so. I just hate this. I feel like we are so far apart."

He laid with his arm across her belly and his hand over the place where the little girl kicked inside. "Liv, I think we are closer now than we have ever been."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Look at the life we have made together. I mean it is your house, but I am here any moment I am not gone with work. We have an amazing relationship. I am head over heels for you. We finished the nursery together today and in just a few weeks we are going to have a baby."

"I guess you are right," she said with a smile.

"Now try to get some rest." He leaned up and kissed her lips as he turned out the bedside lamp.

"I will, but first I have to pee." She climbed from the bed and went into the bathroom.

Jack waited a few minutes for her to return, then went to check on her. He tapped on the outside of the door and opened it slowly when she didn't answer him. She had one hand on the bathroom counter and the other under her belly and was breathing in long smooth breaths.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just stood up too fast. I got a cramp and now she is kicking really hard."

"You want me to help you back to bed?" He asked reaching for her hand.

"Baby, I'm okay." She stood up slowly and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said with a pained smile.

He walked ahead of her to the edge of the bed. But when he turned around she wasn't okay.

"Jack!" She called to him as she breathed heavily.

He turned to look at her hearing the gently tap, tap, tap of what sounded like water running. Olivia stood on the tiled bathroom floor with one hand under her belly and the other on the door frame looking down at the puddle between her feet and her gown was soaked.

"My water just broke!"

He stood up and moved quickly to her side helping her to the bad as the contractions set in.

"Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

"No, there is no time. It will take them forever to find the place. You drive my keys are on the kitchen counter."

Jack ran into the hallway.

"Jack!"

"Yeah!" He answered as he stepped back in to the bedroom.

"Can you help me change?"

"Yes."

He grabbed a maternity top and pants from her closet and brought her shoes to her. She slipped them on and he helped her to the car. Olivia was terrified. Not only was she in extreme pain, but she was in premature labor. She was barely thirty six weeks pregnant.

Before long they had arrived at the hospital and the nurse entered the room to check to see if the was dilated.

"You are already at a six," the nurse said removing her gloves and writing on a chart.

"What does that mean?" Olivia asked.

The nurse pointed to the dilation chart on the wall. "You have get to a ten to deliver, you are already at a six. That means you do not leave until this baby comes out."

"But it is too early for that."

"I will let the doctor explain this a little better. Here he is now."

"Good evening Olivia."

"What is going on here? Is my baby okay?"

The doctor moved the wand of the sonogram machine over her belly to look at the baby.

"She looks fine. Her heart and lungs look good. She is a little smaller than I would like to see, but I think we are good."

"Good for what?"

"Good for delivery." He slid his chair around and lifted the sheet to check her again as Olivia groaned through another hard contraction. "You are about a seven. Do you want an epidural for delivery?"

Olivia looked at him thinking a bullet in the forehead to put her out of her misery would be nice. She whimpered and groaned as another contraction began.

"I think so, yes. Ooooohhhhh."

"Alright, I be beck in a few minutes to administer that."

Jack walked over to her and held her hand. He kissed it gently and looked into her eyes. "Liv, I'm right here."

She took a deep breath as a tear rolled off her cheek. "This is it," she gasped.

"This is it. We are about to finally meet this little girl." Jack leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

The doctor came in a few minutes later and gave Olivia her epidural. It helped with the pain, but did not take it completely away. He checked her again.

"Olivia, we are progressing really well. You are now at a nine. A little while longer and we can start pushing."

She nodded and reached for Jack's hand.

"You doing okay?" He asked unsure of what to say to her.

"I'm really nervous, talk to me."

"Okay. It won't be long. And we will be able to hold her." He smoothed his hand over her hair and kissed her hand. I love you so much."

Olivia bit her lip and he could tell she was having another contraction.

Twenty minutes later the doctor came in and checked her again. Now it was time to push.

She groaned and breathed and gasped and cried through forty five more minutes of labor, then her miracle arrived. On January tenth, at three seventeen in the morning, five hours and twenty two minutes after her water broke in the bathroom floor, Olivia's daughter was born.

"Would you like to cut the cord?" The doctor asked looking up at Jack, who almost looked as if he would faint.

Jack looked at Olivia and she nodded her head. He stepped over to the crying baby and looked up at the doctor.

"Just clip right here between these clamps," the doctor said pointing.

After jack cut her cord the nurses turned around and weighed her and measured her. She kicked and cried the entire time. Jack walked back to stand next to Olivia and held her hand as they watched the commotion in the room.

They wrapped the little girl in a blanket and handed her to Olivia.

Jack watched Olivia as she held her daughter for the first time and tears began to stream down her face. The tiny baby looked up at her mother with the same dark eyes. Olivia twisted the wavy locks of her dark hair between her fingers and kissed her forehead.

"Five pounds ten ounces and she is eighteen and a half inches long. She appears to be perfectly healthy. Just in a hurry to meet her mommy. I'd like to keep her for a few days and make sure everything is okay. I want to make sure she eats good. Then you should be able to take her home." The doctor looked at Olivia and smiled. "Does this little girl have a name?"

"Hannah Grace," Olivia said softly as she kissed the top of her daughter's head once more.

"Welcome to the world Hannah Grace," the doctor said with a smile. "Congratulations, Olivia." He turned and looked at Jack. "Congratulations, she is beautiful," he said shaking Jack's hand.

"Thank you."

A few minutes later they took Olivia and the baby to get cleaned up. Jack walked down to the gift shop and bought pink roses and "It's A Girl" balloons and half a dozen stuffed animals for the baby girl, including a giant stuffed panda bear. It was now nearing six o'clock and he called the police department to let Olivia's co-workers know she had the baby.

He went back up to the maternity ward going back to Olivia's room. They had not brought her back yet, so Jack stopped by the nursery to peek in the window at little Hannah. She was wrapped tight in a receiving blanket with a little pink hat on her head and a sign on the end of her little bed that said "Baby Girl Benson."

She was a carbon copy of Olivia and the most beautiful thing Jack had ever seen.

"Hannah Grace," he said softly as he tapped his finger gently against the glass and she appeared to be looking at him. "You are perfect."

He continued down the hall to see Olivia. She was exhausted and excited and he had never loved anyone more in his life.

"I called my work and your work. You will probably get some visitors later," he smiled and looked into her tired eyes. "So much for a good night's sleep, huh?"

Olivia smiled. "I'm just glad that part is over."

"You did so good, baby." He leaned in and kissed her lips. "She is so perfect. Prettiest baby in the nursery."

Olivia smiled again.

Jack laced his fingers in hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She blinked her heavy eyes and he could tell she was wore out.

Jack sat down in a chair beside her bed and held her hand as she drifted off to sleep.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot climbed out of bed, the baby was crying again for about the tenth time tonight and he figured he would give it a shot this time and let Kathy sleep. Eli was starting to cut teeth and seemed to need constant comforting. Elliot rocked and bounced him gently as he walked around the living room floor in circles in the dark. Then he walked over to the window and opened the blinds.

It was dark and cold out and the frost had settled against the window leaving what appeared to be little snowflake shaped ice flakes all around the edges. The street light shined bright outside and cast a soft glow off the new fallen snow. Eli cooed and stared and drooled as he chewed on his teething ring. Elliot held him up to peer outside at the snow as it began to fall once more.

Elliot moved the baby swing in front of the window and placed Eli inside as he wound it up. It rocked gently back and forth and the baby soon closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Elliot sat in the chair in the dark staring out the window and this thoughts wandered once more to Olivia. He wondered what she was doing tonight. He hoped she was safe and happy. He hoped that somehow she knew that he still loved her and missed her like crazy. He wondered if things had worked out with her and Jack. He actually hoped they had. He had never seen her smile that much when talking about any of her other boyfriends. Elliot thought about Denver for a moment. He had seen on the weather report they were supposed to be hit by a group of snow storms. It must be freezing there.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he did her smile popped into his head. Her pretty smile and wonderful laugh. The smell of her hair and the taste of her kisses. The way she felt in his arms. God he had messed this up. And now it may never be right again.

He looked over at his sleeping son in the baby swing. Was it really fair to Kathy and the kids for him to keep living this lie? He cared for her, but he didn't love her anymore. Not the way he used to. His heart was somewhere in Denver. Olivia had taken it with her all of those months ago and didn't even realize she had it.

The next morning Elliot woke up in the chair as the children buzzed around getting ready for school. He got up and held Eli as Kathy fixed each of them breakfast and sent them out the door into the world to start their day. Elliot fed the baby his bottle and changed him them sat him in the playpen full of toys as he went to talk to Kathy.

"What's up El?"

"I have been thinking a lot lately, Kathy. About us and our situation. And I am glad that I came back here and was here through the pregnancy and there when Eli was born. I love all of the kids dearly, they are my world. But it is time I told you the entire truth."

She sat down her hair brush on the edge of the sink and turned to look at him.

"I am in love with someone else. I came back here to try to make this work for the kids and for Eli. But Kathy it is not fair to them and it is not fair to you or me for us to keep this up. Neither of us are really in it anymore. I care about you, Kathy. You are the mother of my children, I will always care for you. But I am not in love with you anymore."

"You want the divorce?"

"I'm not sure what I want exactly. But I don't want to continue like this."

"Elliot, while we were separated I dated someone else also. It never got serious. I didn't let it because I found out I was pregnant and I knew the baby was yours. But it could have been something. The guy is a friend. I had….have feelings for him. I wanted to give this another shot. When I found out I was pregnant I thought maybe it was some sort of sign that this wasn't over. But you are right. Neither of us are here anymore."

"What do you want to do?"

Kathy looked down at the floor for a little while feeling guilty for her feelings.

"I think I want the divorce Elliot. I want to work it out for the kids. You are a good father and I want them to be able to see you as much as they can. But I don't think I can do this anymore."

Elliot stood up and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around his chest and hugged him back.

"Well, we cannot say we didn't try."

Kathy smiled and looked up at him.

"I have the key to Liv's old place. It hasn't been rented out yet. I can crash there until I can get an apartment of my own."

"Okay."

"I think you need to keep the house. I want this to disrupt the kids as little as possible."

"Yeah. If you want to go with the same terms I can contact my lawyer and have them add Eli into the visitation agreement. I don't want to fight Elliot. About anything. You have been the man in my life for almost twenty one years. We know each other well enough to be civil about this and work it out without fighting. Besides we share five children together. And eventually grandchildren. I want us to be able to stay friends, for the kids."

"Kathy, I don't have any problem with you. None at all. We both gave it all we had and it just didn't work out. There was no cheating or lying. It is just time for this to come to an end."

Kathy looked up at him and smiled. "It is still a little sad though."

"Yes, but this is for the best. Kathy I don't make you happy anymore. And you deserve to be happy. I want that for you."

"Thanks, El."

He hugged her and kissed the top of her head.

"I have to go, I'm going to be late. Talk to your lawyer and let me know what he says."

"Okay."

And just like that his marriage was over.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Six months later…..

Olivia stood on the porch holding Hannah as they waved bye to Jack and his car pulled away. She bounced her baby girl in her arms and carried her back into the house. The last six months had gone by so fast and it seemed like every day Hannah was doing something knew and equally as exciting as the last first thing that she had done.

Olivia combed her fingers through her thick brown hair and stared into her pretty brown eyes as she placed the pacifier into the baby's mouth and kissed her forehead. She went into the kitchen and started dinner. Jack would be back in a few hours and tonight she wanted to put Hannah to bed and have a romantic dinner and a glass of wine before he had to head out tomorrow.

She got out the stuff for her lasagna and tossed it all together, then slid it into the oven. She peeked around the corner to check on Hannah who was smiling happily and playing with a rattle as she one of her Baby Einstein DVD's. She was such a good baby and hardly ever cried. She was the best thing that had ever happened to Olivia.

Olivia smiled and returned to the kitchen to cut up the vegetables for the salad. She rinsed her hands under the cool tap water and smiled again as she looked down at the diamond engagement ring on her hand.

She thought back to the week they had brought Hannah home from the hospital and she and Jack sat here at this island in the kitchen and he asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. He had told her that he wanted to make them a real family, he and her and Hannah. After Olivia agreed. Jack went into the other room and pulled the diamond ring from his bag and dropped to one knee and gave her an official proposal. Little Hannah sat on the counter in her seat watching as Olivia cried and once more agreed to be his wife.

Jack had pretty much already moved in with her. He still had his apartment in Maine, but only because he hadn't had the chance to get back there and clean it out. For now a friend of his was renting it from Jack.

Olivia pulled the lasagna from the oven just as Jack pulled into the drive. She kissed him and welcomed him home then picked Hannah up from the floor and took her for her bath. She rubbed her down with baby lotion and put a sleeper on her. She picked her up and carried her to the living room handing her off to Jack while she went in to make a bottle.

"Let me feed her and get her down for the night and we can eat," Olivia said leaning in to kiss him.

"Okay," he said tugging on Hannah's little feet and making her giggle.

Olivia got the bottle ready then moved back to the living room to pick up the baby from Jack.

"Good night princess," Jack said kissing the little curls on the top of her head as she yawned.

Olivia carried her to the nursery and turned on the shadow lamp that cast hundreds of little stars all over the walls and ceiling of her room. She sat in the rocking chair and nursed the baby for a little while then held her and gave her a bottle and rocked her slowly until she fell asleep. She stood up slowly and carried Hannah to her crib and kissed her gently as she laid her inside and turned on the monitor.

Olivia went in to the bathroom to clean up a little bit then headed back out to set the table for dinner with Jack.

"It is still warm," she said sitting the lasagna on the table.

Jack poured them each a glass of wine and lit the candles on the center of the table. He held her hand and kissed it gently. "I love you," she said softly.

"I love you, too." She smiled at him and leaned in as he kissed her.

"Have you thought about a date yet?"

"Jack, we have talked about this. I just want to be where we are here for a little while before another big change. I love you and I want to marry you. I just need a little time to get used to this first."

"Baby, we have been engaged for almost six months now. I just want to make it official. I want you to be my wife."

"And I want to be your wife, Jack."

"Liv, we can have any kind of wedding you want. I am even up for Vegas or a trip to the courthouse if you want. I just want us to be a family. And I want Hannah to have my name."

Olivia sat her wine glass down and looked up at him. "You said you weren't going to do this."

"Olivia, her name is Benson, because your name is Benson. But if we get married and your name changes there is no point in her name staying Benson."

"I don't want to talk about this now." She stood up and cleared her plate from the table.

"Why?"

"You know why. Look, you didn't want to know. So I didn't tell you. But you easily could have figured it out if you wanted to, Jack. I just want her to stay Benson, that's all."

"You didn't even eat."

"I'm not hungry."

She poured out her wine and headed for the bedroom.

When Jack came in a little while later she was reading a book in bed.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know that," she said softly. "I just need you to understand why I can't do this."

Jack stared at her for a few moments, then took a deep breath.

"She isn't mine?"

Olivia looked into his eyes as tears welled up in hers.

"Does it matter? Does it really matter? You are the only father she has ever known."

He sat down beside her on the bed.

"And you never told him?"

"I couldn't Jack. At first I just didn't know how. Then she was born early. And I watched you in the delivery room. The look on your face when that doctor handed her to you. She was your daughter, from that moment on, she was yours. I couldn't take that away from you."

Jack leaned in and looked into her eyes. "Then give her to me, Olivia. Let me have her. Let me make it real, make her mine. And no one would ever have to know otherwise."

"I would know. And if Elliot ever saw her…"

"How could he know, so looks just like you."

"She does look like me. But she is him, too. I see more of him in her every day. The looks she gives me and her smile. I'm sorry Jack, but I cannot deny that she is Elliot's daughter."

Things got quiet for a little while as he climbed into bed.

"I love her Olivia. I love her ever bit as much as you do. Could you imagine if I came to you tomorrow and told you that she wasn't yours? That I was sorry, but I could never let you fully be her mother."

Another tear fell from her cheek as she looked at him. "No. I don't think I could live my life without her in it. She is my world. And I know she is yours too. But I cannot keep her from Elliot, Jack. Sooner or Later, I am going to have to tell him he has a daughter. And he is going to want to see her. I know that is going to be hard on you, but he needs the chance to be in her life."

"I know. And I don't blame him. She is an amazing little girl." Jack held Olivia's hand and kissed it. "What happened to our romantic evening?"

Olivia smiled and leaned in to kiss him as he turned off the lights. They made love and fell asleep together.

A few hours later Hannah woke up crying. Olivia sat up to go get her.

"I got her babe," Jack said as he sat up and pulled on his boxers and tee shirt.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don't get the night shift that often. You get some rest, we'll be fine."

She smiled and kissed him then laid back down and closed her eyes. Jack went into the nursery and picked Hannah up in his arms. He kissed her forehead and bounced her a little trying to calm her then laid her on the changing table and changed her diaper. He picked her up in his arms as she began to fuss again. He carried her into the kitchen lit only by the clock on the microwave and made her another bottle.

He carried her back down the hall way to the nursery. He sat in the rocking chair and rocked her giving her the bottle. Olivia smiled listening over the monitor as he sang her "Brown Eyed Girl." It was the sweetest thing she had ever heard.


	9. 9 The Stranger

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Nine: The Stranger)_

Olivia came in to her desk and put away her files. It was way past quitting time and she could not wait to get home and see her baby girl. She picked up her phone and called Sarah, the babysitter to let her know she was running a little late. Sarah was a parents dream come true. She was in her early twenties and a part time student at a local college. She was also the niece of Olivia's Captain and he had suggested her as an alternative to daycare when Olivia was forced to return to work after her maternity leave was up.

Olivia loved the idea of Hannah having someone looking after her every need. Someone who could provide one on one care for her. In daycare, she would just be one of many youngsters to one caregiver. Plus Sarah, had a list of recommendations a mile long and Hannah adored her. Sarah also lived just down the road, so she could get there quickly if she was needed when Olivia was on call.

Olivia pulled into the driveway as Sarah brought Hannah out into the yard to greet her. Olivia scooped up the baby in her arms and playfully tossed her up into the air, causing little Hannah to squeal in excitement and burst into laughter. She smiled and cooed and placed her tiny fingers on Olivia's mouth as Liv kissed her hands and cradled her in her arms again.

"Mommy missed you so much while she was at work! How did things go today," she asked looking up at Sarah.

"Really well. She took about an hour nap around noon. You are almost out of formula."

"I'll pick some up later. Can you grab that bag of groceries for me? I'll get you a check when we get into the house."

"Okay." Sarah walked around to the other side of the car as Olivia put Hannah on her hip and grabbed a bag as well. Sarah grabbed the bag, as she closed the car door she looked up to see a dark blue car at the end of the drive way. "Liv?" Sarah said with a worried look on her face.

Olivia turned to look at Sarah's concerned look.

Sarah walked around and stood next to Olivia. "Do you know who he is?"

"I don't recognize the car." Olivia raised her hand to her forehead to cut the sun's glare in an attempt to get a better look at the car.

"He just sits there staring. It's creepy. He is not even moving. Just watching us."

Olivia opened the car door and dropped her bag of groceries back into the car, then turned and handed Hannah off to Sarah. "Take the baby and wait inside," Olivia said not taking her eyes off the strange car.

"Do you want me to call my uncle?"

"No. I'm sure he is just lost or something. Besides I still have my gun if I need it. Just go inside and lock the door and wait for me. If I am not back in ten minutes, then you can call him."

"Liv, are you sure this is safe? I could call my dad and he could be here in five minutes with a shot gun."

Olivia laughed. "It's okay. I do this for a living, remember?"

"Okay."

Sarah took Hannah and went into the house. She locked the door behind her and put the baby girl into her playpen in the living room floor. She walked over to peek out the window and watched as Olivia slid her sunglasses onto the top of her head and walked down the driveway toward the suspicious vehicle.

As she approached the car a tall man climbed out and began to walk toward her. Olivia reached to her side and unlatched the clasp on the holster over her gun, just in case she should need it. The man watched her as she walked. Half checking her out and half looking her over as if he knew her. She felt uncomfortable as she felt his eyes scanning over her body.

She stopped in her place a few yards from the end of the long drive and watched him as he kept walking toward her.

"Can I help you sir?" She asked raising her hand to her brow once more as a familiar face came into focus ahead of her.

"Sir?" He said as he stood there and waited for her to react to him.

She stood there staring at him in disbelief. It couldn't be….how had he found her? She felt her heart leap in her chest and a little flutter of butterflies in her stomach the way she always used to when walked into the room. It had been so long since she had seen him and man was he a sight for sore eyes.

"Elliot?" She asked as a look of confusion crossed her face.

"Oh come on, I know it has been a little while, Liv. But I have not changed that much. You however…."

Her hair was darker and longer, her natural color of deep brunette with little hints of auburn. That brought out the chocolate of her sparkling eyes as they shined like diamonds in his direction. God she looked amazing. He had missed her so much. His heart was racing a thousand miles per hour and felt as if it might explode in his chest. And right now standing in front of her as a summer breeze blew through her shoulder length hair and the sent of her familiar perfume lingered in the air intoxicating him, it took everything inside him to control the reaction of other parts of his body that had missed her as well.

"Oh my God!" She said with a smile as she moved in for a hug.

"I missed you," he blurted out desperately before he even realized his mouth was open.

She laughed and smiled her beautiful smile in his direction. "I missed you, too." Elliot watched her eyes as tears began to rise slowly and she quickly turned around and pointed toward the house to divert his attention. "Why didn't you just pull up the drive way?" She asked looking back at him for a second.

"I wasn't sure this was the right place. You on a farm?"

She laughed. "I know, right? Well, why don't you come up to the house?"

"Come on," he said pointing to the car.

She climbed into the passengers seat of the car and he drove up the driveway and parked beside her black Jeep Cherokee.

Olivia walked up the steps with her keys in her hand and unlocked the front door. She walked in with Elliot right behind her.

"This place is great, Liv."

"I like it," she replied with a smile as Sarah walked around the corner to look at Olivia and the stranger. "It's okay, Sarah. This is Elliot, he's an old friend of mine from back in New York."

"Elliot, this is Sarah. My babysitter."

"Nice to meet you," Elliot said extending a hand as Sarah shook it cautiously.

"Oh," Olivia remembered. "Your check," she said as she signed it and tore it out of her checkbook handing it to Sarah.

"Same time tomorrow?" Sarah asked looking at Olivia.

"I will let you know," Olivia said looking at Elliot.

"Don't forget, my uncle is coming by later. He has a new gun he wants to show you," Sarah said defensively shooting a glance in Elliot's direction.

"It's okay Sarah," Olivia laughed. "Elliot was my partner back in Manhattan. I assure you everything is just fine."

"Okay, I will talk to you later." Sarah waved at Olivia and headed out the door.

Olivia looked back at Elliot who was staring at her. "What?"

"Babysitter?" He raised an eyebrow to her.

"Oh, I almost forgot." She walked into the living room and picked up Hannah and carried her in to meet Elliot.

"Liv, she is beautiful."

Olivia smiled. "You want to hold her?"

"Yeah?" He asked looking at the youngster with her mother's beautiful eyes.

"Yeah," Olivia smiled and handed Hannah off to Elliot.

She wore a little white summer dress and her little matching diaper cover had ruffles on it. Hannah looked up at Elliot and cooed and smiled at him as she held tight to the pacifier in her mouth.

"She looks just like you." Olivia smiled. "What is her name?"

"Hannah, Hannah Grace."

"It's pretty. You are a pretty girl," he said looking at Hannah as she giggled at him. "She seems to be a pretty happy baby."

"She hardly ever cries."

"She is gorgeous, Liv. Congratulations. I always knew you would be an amazing mother some day."

"Aww, thanks Elliot. So, how are things with your new one?"

"Oh, okay."

"Boy or girl?"

"Boy. Elliot Stabler II, we call him Eli."

"I'll bet Dickie was ecstatic to finally get a brother."

"Oh, yeah."

"You want some coffee?"

"Sure." Elliot moved around to the island as Olivia carried Hannah back into the living room and put her back into the playpen.

"I need to get dinner started, Jack will be home before long. You should stay. Jack is grilling steaks. I can call him and have him pick up some beer."

"I should really be getting back to town. I have a reservation at a motel, I have to check in before six."

"Stay here," she tipped her head softly to the side and looked into his eyes. "We have a guest room that has never been used. And this way we will get to spend more time together while you are in town. How long are you in town?"

"I'm not sure, really. I am just taking a little break from things back in New York. Work and everything. I just needed to get away for a little while. I thought I would track you down."

"It's good to see you Elliot," she said handing him a cup of coffee and sitting plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies on the table in front of him.

"It is good to see you, too. I hate that it has been so long."

"Almost a year and a half," she added. She looked down at her coffee mug for a moment in silence. "I'm sorry that I didn't keep in touch better. I moved here and things kind of got all crazy once I found out I was pregnant. There were a few times that I thought about calling you. But it had been so long and I knew you were busy with the new baby and work."

"I wish you had called. I worried about you, Liv."

"I can take care of myself, Elliot."

"I know that. I can see that. But, you were….are my best friend. It was strange not seeing you for so long. I spent eleven years standing next to you then one day you were just gone. How did you not expect me to worry. I tried to call you, a couple of times. But after the last time you called me your number was disconnected."

"Elliot…" she had no idea what to say to him. After so long it just became to hard to contact him. She had been a shitty friend. "How did you find me?"

"A little over a year ago I used some illegal means to get your address. Of course I didn't realize until I got to Denver that it was not your address anymore. I went in to the police station there in town and did a little song and dance for your new Captain. I finally convinced him to give me the address. I had to show him ID and dive a DNA Sample and consent to a background check."

Olivia smiled and laughed. "They are really protective."

"I noticed. I even called your precinct once. But you answered and I couldn't speak. I felt so stupid. I just sat there like an idiot and didn't say a word."

Olivia smiled and laughed a little. "I remember that."

"Yeah?"

She nodded her head.

"I heard you laughing and you sounded happy. It made me happy for you. I didn't want to mess that up for you. So I put the card with your address in my wallet and just carried it around for over a year. Then after the divorce I realized…."

"You and Kathy got divorced?" She cut him off. "Elliot I am sorry."

"It is okay. We tried, we really tried. Then we both realized it just wasn't working anymore. She is seeing someone, she's happy."

"And you?"

"Am I seeing anyone or am I happy?"

"Well, both. I guess."

"No, I'm not dating anyone. I guess I am happy. What about you?" He asked looking down at the diamond ring on her left hand.

"Yeah," she said glancing down at her ring. "We finally set a date. He has been trying to get me to for months. Just a few more weeks."

"Tell me about him."

"He's really great. He's a pilot. He's gone a lot with work, but he is all about family when he is home. And he is great with Hannah."

"He's a good father, that is a plus."

She smiled and looked up at him.

"I think you will really like him, Elliot."

"I'm sure I will."

Olivia raised her head as she heard a car pulling up the driveway. "That must be him now."

She sat her coffee cup down on the counter and dashed out onto the driveway to greet Jack.

Olivia threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too baby."

"Who's car is this?"

"Well, Elliot is here."

"What?"

"Yup."

"How is that going?"

"Really well, actually."

"Did you tell him?"

"I have not really had a chance. Just kind of making small talk and catching up. I can't just blurt it out. I asked him to stay here, in the guest room. I thought that would give him some time with her, maybe soften the blow when I do tell him."

"Yeah. It will give you guys some time together, too."

She smiled at him.

"Are you sure you are okay with this?"

"Yeah, baby I trust you. He is your best friend."

"I can't wait for you to meet him."

"How long is he here?"

"I'm not sure. A few days at least. But I was thinking since the wedding is in two weeks I thought I would invite him. If he is still around then, I would like him to be there."

"Of course. Liv, the man is your family. Lets get inside and get dinner started."

"How long are you home?"

"I have to leave out in the morning. But I will be back in a couple of days."

They turned and walked toward the house.

"I'm thinking of taking a day or two off to spend time with El. I have time built up."

Jack cupped his hand on the side of her face. "I think that is a great idea."

She smiled and kissed him again. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

They walked inside and introduced Jack to Elliot. Afterward Jack made a beeline for Hannah's playpen picking her up and kissing her and bouncing her and holding her in his arms. Hannah smiled and giggled and laughed looking up at him adoringly with her big brown eyes. Jack pulled a toy out of his bag that he had bought for her while he was gone and held her on his lap to play with it as he and Elliot talked.

"She looks like she really missed you."

"I miss her like crazy when I am gone. I miss them both. When you have this at home it makes it hard to leave out again."

"I bet."

Olivia looked up at Elliot and smiled. She was relieved they were getting along so well.

"Here you go," she said handing Jack a tray with the seasoned steaks on it.

"Thank you," he said kissing her lips.

"Elliot, why don't you grab a couple of beers and help me out here. Liv, says you grill a pretty mean steak."

"I have been known to, yes."

Elliot grabbed two beers from the refrigerator and followed Jack who had the tray in one hand and Hannah on his hip.

"Nope. Not you young lady," Olivia said taking the baby from Jack. "It is your bath time. Then it is off to bed for you. Say goodnight."

Jack sat the plate down and picked Hannah up again. "Goodnight princess," he said cuddling her and cradling her in his arms. "I love you baby girl." He kissed Hannah's forehead and handed her off to Olivia.

"Goodnight," Elliot said as Hannah wrapped her little hand around his finger pulling it to her mouth.

Olivia took Hannah in for her bath and headed for the nursery with the bottle to lay Hannah down for the night.

The next morning Olivia called in and took a couple of personal days off to spend time with Elliot and the baby. Jack managed to take a later flight and didn't end up having to leave out until early that evening.

They spent the day together just laughing and talking and catching up on old times. Elliot seemed to latch right on to little Hannah and Olivia watched him with her as they bonded. He played with her and talked baby talk to her and fed her bottles, never suspecting for a moment she was his child. Olivia was glad to see that he was so attached to her already, but she was going to have to find a way to tell him the truth and she needed to do it soon before he left to go back to New York.

The next evening Olivia was giving Hannah a bath in the bathtub while Elliot stood behind her carrying on conversation.

"There we go," Olivia said wiping the excess water from Hannah's dark hair. "All done. Elliot can you hand me her towel?"

"I'm not seeing a towel."

Olivia glanced over her shoulder at the counter top. "I must have left it in the nursery."

Just then her phone rang.

"Can you watch her for just a second and let me go get that?"

"Sure," he said smiling at the baby.

Olivia watched for a second as Elliot sat on the edge of the garden tub and talked to Hannah.

"I guess you have a lot of experience with this, huh?"

"I ought to after five kids."

"I'll only be a minute."

She walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone to talk to Jack and proceeded into the nursery to get Hannah's towel. A few minutes later she returned and stood in the doorway watching as Elliot showed Hannah how to splash the water with her hands. She kicked and squealed and flailed her little hands and feet in the water splashing them both with the water as she giggled. Olivia smiled at the sight, then pulled the baby from the bathtub wrapping her in a towel and walking through the kitchen toward the nursery with her.

Elliot looked at little Hannah and noticed a small birthmark on the back of her shoulder. He watched as Olivia patted her off with the towel and headed for the nursery to put her to bed.

Elliot was seated quietly at the island in the kitchen when she returned and had poured them both a glass of wine.

"Thanks for you help back there."

"Yeah."

"So, how big is Eli?"

"Quite a big bigger than her. He is starting to walk and has about six teeth. He will be a year old next month."

"Wow, that doesn't seem possible."

"I know. How old is Hannah?"

"She just turned six months on the tenth."

Elliot sat quiet for a minute. "So you guys hadn't been together long when you found out you were pregnant, had you?"

"Not really, about a little over a month I think."

Olivia turned around and started straightening her kitchen just looking for something to do trying to avoid the direction this conversation needed to go.

"I should check on her," she said softly as she turned and walked toward the hallway.

"Is she mine, Olivia?"

She stopped dead in her tracks and bit her lip as she stared down at her feet. She shifted her head to glance at him over her shoulder as a tear slid off her cheek. She stood quiet for a moment as she took a deep breath.

"Yes," she said softly.

She could hear him take a deep breath behind her. And she turned to face him. "How did you…"

"The birthmark," he said with tears in his eyes. "Maureen has the same one."

Olivia stared at him unsure of how to make this better. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you Elliot."

He patted his hand on the stool beside him.

She walked slowly toward him and sat down on it. "I didn't know I was pregnant until after Jack and I were together. But I knew when I found out my due date that she wasn't his."

"Does he know?"

"Yes. He has always known there was a chance. He didn't want to know. He said he wanted her either way. I had always intended on telling you. But I didn't really know how. We had fallen out of touch and you were busy with your new baby. I was going to tell you while you were here. I couldn't let you leave and not know she was your daughter."

Elliot closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He stood up and walked to the nursery to stare down at little Hannah sleeping by the glow of a night light.

"Elliot, say something. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Liv. I have just missed so much of her life. I should have been there when she was born."

"I know you would have. I am so sorry, Elliot. I made such a mess of this."

"Liv," he said looking into her eyes. "I know that you did what you thought was best for Hannah. I can't be angry at you for that. I just hate that I missed out on so much of my daughter's life. But at least she had Jack."

"Elliot I know you would have been here if I had told you. But then you would have missed out on all of the firsts with Eli. Jack is good with her. He loves her Elliot, like she was his own. He is so afraid of losing her now that you are here."

"I wouldn't take her from him. But I can't walk away either, Liv. She is my daughter."

"I know. And I will never keep you from her again, Elliot. I need you to know that."

"I do."

Elliot smiled across the crib at her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. He knelt down beside the crib to look at the sleeping infant. "She is so beautiful, Liv." He reached his fingers through the bars and twirled his fingers in her dark curls. "She looks exactly like you."

"She has you in her, too."

"Oh yeah?"

Olivia nodded. "She has your smile and your dimples. She is a definite morning person and I know she didn't get that from me. I would not be out of bed before noon if coffee wasn't involved somehow."

Elliot laughed. "She is perfect, Olivia."

"She is my entire world."

Elliot looked up at her and stood beside her as they watched their little girl sleep.

"It's late," she said softly. "I'm gonna go on to bed. She will be up early."

"Olivia," he said looking at her.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

She raised her chin to look as she looked at him. "For what Elliot?"

"For bringing her into my life."

She walked back to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Thank you," she said softly as he looked into her eyes. "I couldn't have done this on my own."

Elliot moved his hand into hers and kissed it gently. "We did good, huh?"

"Yeah," Olivia smiled. "Goodnight, Elliot." She gave him a warm smile and headed for the door.

"Goodnight, Olivia."

Olivia climbed into her bed and turned out the light and thought about how wonderful and crazy the last few days had been. She smiled and exhaled softly thinking how good it was to have Elliot back in her life again. She had missed him so much and these last few days it was almost like old times. Back when they were close, before everything had gotten complicated. It was nice to have her friend back.


	10. 10 Forever With You

_God Bless The Broken Road_

_(Chapter Ten: Forever With You)_

Olivia woke to the sound of Hannah's little coos and playful sounds over the baby monitor. She rolled over and smiled as she looked up at it. If she woke up like this every day for the rest of her life she would be the happiest woman in the world. She sat up on the edge of the bed and sank her toes into the plush carpet as she stretched. She stood up and pulled her robe from the back of the bedroom door. She slipped it on over her tank top and boxer shorts and headed down the hall to greet her daughter.

Elliot returned to his room from taking a shower and smiled at the sound of the beautiful little girl making all of her little happy baby sounds from the next room. He still could not believe this was his daughter. He pulled the blankets back neatly making the bed and put his shaving kit of toiletries back into his suitcase zipping it shut and sitting it in the closet.

He walked down the hallway to greet his baby girl and spend a little time bonding with her not just as Olivia's daughter, but as his as well. Elliot quietly turned the door knob as Hannah's coos calmed and quieted. He pushed the door open and peered inside, but what he saw was not what he had expected at all.

Olivia was sitting in the rocking chair nursing the baby. Elliot felt his jaw drop and he lost all words as her eyes flashed up to look at his. She quickly pulled her robe from the back of the rocking chair and covered herself.

"I….I'm….sorry, Liv." Elliot stuttered as he backed out of the room pulling the door shut behind him. He leaned against the wall in the hallway for a minute to collect his thoughts and allow his brain to register all that had just happened. He stumbled to the kitchen and started a pot of strong coffee. After what had just happened he had a feeling they were both going to need it.

About fifteen minutes later he heard Olivia emerge from the nursery and head for the bathroom across the hall. He waited as his heart pounded in his chest, he felt almost like a child waiting in the principal's office after being caught doing something bad. He felt awful for walking in on her like that. He had no idea she was even awake yet. He had opened the nursery door to peek in at Hannah sleeping before he had gotten in the shower twenty minutes before and the house was still. When he heard Hannah, his intention was to get her so Olivia could sleep in. He had really messed this up. This wasn't the first thing he had ever messed up when it came to Olivia.

Elliot raised his eyes to look up at her as she carried a now fully clothed Hannah into the kitchen and sat her in her high chair buckling her in. Olivia said nothing. Infact she didn't even look at him as she moved around the kitchen and prepared Hannah's bottle. She handed the bottle to the baby and walked past Elliot and into her bedroom. He heard the shower start and a few minutes later she returned wearing his favorite pair of her jeans and a tank top.

Elliot poured a cup of coffee and slid it across the island to her, not saying a word. Olivia took a deep breath as she wrapped her fingers around the cup and pulled it to her lips. She exhaled softly and shifted her eyes up to meet his.

"Olivia, I didn't mean to…. I should have knocked. I wasn't thinking. I just heard her and I thought I would go get her and let you sleep in. I didn't even realize you were awake. I sure didn't think that you were in there….."

She smiled at him. "It's okay. Besides, it is nothing you haven't seen before, right?"

"Not under those conditions."

She laughed. "Five kids and you have never seen Kathy breastfeeding?"

"That is different."

She looked at Hannah sitting in her high chair and then back at Elliot.

"Elliot. It was and accident. I know that." She smiled again.

"What?"

"The look on your face." She laughed. "I thought you were going to have a heart attack."

"Yeah, I thought I was too. I thought you just gave her formula. I didn't realize that you…."

"Breastfed?" He was working his way into a stutter again so she figured she would help him out.

"Well, yeah."

"I did when she was younger. It is so much better for the baby. Then when I went back to work I would just pump and leave it for her. As she got bigger and I got busier at work that became a challenge and we had to start her on formula. I still nurse her once at night before she goes to sleep and in the mornings before I leave for work. It is kind of like our time, you know. Just me and her. And this way she still gets some of what she needs from the breast milk. I guess I should have told you."

"I don't know why you would."

"I mean, I should have told you that I nurse her in the mornings. Then you would have known to knock on the door before you opened it."

He looked into her eyes and they both laughed.

"I will knock from now on, I promise."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

That evening Elliot cooked dinner for the two of them. Olivia sat across from him at the dining room table sipping slowly on a glass of wine. Her soft wavy hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail with a few little strands that hung loose around her face. She wore jeans and a black tank top and her skin kind of glowed from her summer tan. Her smile was beautiful and Elliot could not help but stare quietly and think of how badly he had messed up when he left her to go back to Kathy.

"Just a few more days until the wedding," he said trying to make conversation as she spread her food around with her fork.

"Yeah," she said smiling. "You're gonna stay, right?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Good. Because I really want you there. His entire family is coming in for this. I don't have anyone. If you aren't there."

"I'll be there," he said reaching across the table to hold her hand. He knew it was going to hurt to watch her marry someone else. But he also knew what it meant to her to have him there. And he couldn't let her down again.

Olivia smiled a soft smile. "I have my dress. I picked it up this morning. Do you want to see it?"

"Sure," he said as she her face lit up and she walked quickly to the hall closet.

She pulled our the white satin gown. It was beautiful. Strapless with a long skirt and train. Elliot tried to imagine how she would look in it. "It is pretty, Liv."

"Give me a minute. I have not tried it on since they altered it."

She carried the dress to her bedroom and returned a few minutes later wearing the gown. She looked amazing.

Elliot watched her as she picked up part of her layered skirt and walked across the room and took a large mirror off the wall sitting it in the floor to look into it at her reflection.

She smoothed her hands down the beaded bodice of the gown and onto her hips. Then turned to her side to look at it from that angle as well.

"What do you think?"

"You look amazing. Jack is a very lucky man."

Olivia smiled.

"I'm a lucky woman."

She raised her hands and held her hair up a little higher still trying to decide how she would have it fixed. A few minutes later she went into the bedroom to remove the wedding dress, but realized that the zipper was stuck. She picked up her skirt and returned to the living room asking Elliot for assistance.

Elliot stood behind Olivia as she raised her hair up for him to fix the zipper. He took a deep breath and tried not to notice things like how soft and warm the skin on her back was. How this strapless dress made her perfect shoulders and toned arms look so sexy. And the way she held her hair up exposed a small mole on the side of her neck and just a little behind her ear. Elliot remembered all the times his mouth somehow found it's way there placing baby kisses in that exact spot until she just couldn't take it anymore. Then they would make love and fall asleep together.

"There you go," Elliot said softly taking a deep breath as he stepped back. He had to let this go. In two days Olivia would be another man's wife.

She moved one hand to hold the top of the dress up as she looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "Thank you," she said softly as he stared into her eyes. Olivia let her hair down and picked up her skirt again, moving once more to the bedroom to change her clothes.

Even that look was sexy as hell. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone in his life. But she was in love with Jack and he was pretty sure that she didn't think of him like that anymore.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

That night as Olivia laid in bed she heard a noise from the baby monitor. She sat up trying to decide if she should go check on Hannah. Just then she heard Elliot's voice speaking softly to the baby as he watched her sleep. Olivia laid back down and closed her eyes.

Elliot sat in the floor beside the crib and watched the little angel inside as she slept. He reached through the bars and twirled his fingers in her hair.

"I don't understand it," he said softly to his sleeping daughter. "How you can be so perfect and still be a part of me. I have screwed up so many things in my life. But you are one of the few things that I did right. I should be here with you. I should have made us a family when I had the chance to, you, me and mommy. But I screwed it up angel. I left mommy and I broke her heart. And I ruined everything we had together. I hurt her and I will never forgive myself for that. But what is worse is that I continue to lie to her every day. I want her to be happy. And she is happy here with Jack. I know Jack is a good guy to you both, but she shouldn't marry him. She should marry me, Hannah. And give me the chance to make right everything I wronged. I love her. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I will probably always love her. And I never got over her. I have missed her every second that I was away from her. And now that I am here with you both, I don't want to leave without you. But I guess things in life don't always work out the way we want them to. Because if they did I would take you and mommy back home to New York with me. And I would marry her and never leave either of you ever again. So you do me a favor, will you? The next time that you and mommy are talking, you put in a good word for me."

Elliot took a deep breath and sat quietly just watching her for a moment.

"You sleep tight my little angel," he said as he placed a soft kiss on her little forehead and turned to walk out of the room. As he did he looked up to see Olivia standing in the doorway looking at him.

He walked over to her as she leaned against the wall.

"How much of that did you hear?" He asked.

"Enough," she said with tears in her eyes. "The next time you make a confession to a six month old you should probably turn off the baby monitor," she whispered softly.

"It's alright. It was all stuff you probably needed to hear anyway."

"Elliot…."

She looked at him as the tears rose in her eyes.

"Liv, it's okay. It was just stuff I needed to get off my chest."

He reached up to wipe the tears from her cheek. But as he did and his thumb brushed against her cheek he leaned in to her. It was as if they were drawn together magnetically as his mouth met hers and his thumb moved slowly down the side of her face and under her chin they way it always did before. He thought she would pull away or fight him, but she didn't. Instead her mouth opened as she tipped her head granting him access as his tongue entered it slowly and brushed against hers. For a moment she kissed him back, hungrily like she needed nothing in the world but this kiss to survive on. It was intense and sweet and sexy as hell. Elliot felt his right hand as it found her knee and made it's way up slowly under her thin night gown and caressed the outside of her thigh.

That was when Olivia broke the kiss as she turned her head away from him. She placed her hand against his and pushed it back downward and away from her body as he noticed more tears on her face. She placed her hand softly against his chest and pushed him away from her as she started to walk away. A few steps toward the door and she stopped to turn and look at him.

She had tears now streaming down her face as her eyes stared in to his.

"This can not ever happen again," she said quietly, but sharply as she walked out of the nursery and back into her bedroom where she turned off the monitor and climbed back into bed.

The next morning Olivia sat at the dining room table with a cup of coffee. Hannah was seated beside her mother in her high chair eating a hand full of Cheerios one little "O" at a time. She cooed and said her "ma…ma…ma…ma." Elliot walked in and kissed the baby on the top of her head, then looked up at Olivia who was obviously avoiding making eye contact with him.

Elliot poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down on the other side of the high chair to share breakfast with his daughter. She smiled and began to feed him Cheerios one at a time.

Olivia just sat quietly, unsure of what to say or if she even wanted to speak for that matter. She could not believe she had allowed anything at all to happen the night before. And although it hadn't gone far before she stopped it, _it_ still happened.

"Good morning," Elliot said looking over at her in an attempt to encourage her to talk to him.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and stared at her coffee cup. "Good morning," she mumbled still avoiding eye contact with him.

"I am going to run in to town and pick up a few things. Do you need anything?" He asked as he stood up and walked behind her to put on his shoes.

She stared at her cup and took a deep breath. "Elliot, I am going to marry Jack tomorrow," she said without turning around. But the way she said it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than Elliot.

"Olivia…"

"No. I made a promise. I promised Jack that I would spend the rest of my life with him. And I am not going back on my word. I know how that feels."

Now she turned her head to look at him. He could see so much in her eyes. She was angry and scared and confused and about to break down.

"And I don't think you should stay here anymore."

"Okay," he said softly and made his way to the spare room to get his suitcase.

Elliot came back into the dining room and kissed the baby then headed out the door. He drove into town and checked into a motel.

That afternoon he had returned from dinner to find a note stuck on his motel room door that he had a package waiting for him in the lobby. Elliot went and picked up a small padded envelope from the front desk and returned to his room to open it. Inside was a burned DVD. Elliot put in the DVD and sat down on the bed.

He could hear Jack talking to Olivia as the picture came into focus. She was laying in the hospital bed in labor about to give birth to Hannah. He watched as Jack held Olivia's hand and coached her through the delivery. Elliot counted as they counted between pushes and cried when he heard Hannah's first cries. He watched with tears in his eyes as Olivia held Hannah for the first time. And he watched her smile as she kissed the tiny baby on the top of her head.

When the film was over Elliot just sat there on the bed trying to collect his thoughts. He picked up the phone and dialed Olivia's number. But before he could hit send someone knocked at the door. Elliot walked over and opened it to see Jack standing there in front of him.

"We need to talk," Jack said as Elliot opened the door letting him in.

Elliot closed the door behind them and looked at Jack.

"Thank you for this," he said pointing at the DVD case.

"I figured you missed it. This way you would at least get to see…."

Both men were quiet for a minute.

"Nothing below the sheet," Jack said as Elliot looked up at him in confusion. "That was what Olivia said when I told her I wanted to film the delivery. She didn't want me to at first, that was our agreement. I set up the tripod across the room so I could be there with her. Now I am really glad I did."

"Me, too." Elliot looked up at him and their eyes met.

"I remember that night like it happened yesterday. It was the scariest night of my entire life. Liv was coming out of the bathroom when she called to me. I looked up and she was standing in a puddle, her water had broke. It was January and we were in the middle of a bad snow storm. I took her to the hospital and her contractions were close. Part of me wasn't sure we would make it in time. The baby was early and we were both so afraid. The doctor gave her an epidural and said she was too far into labor to stop it. I held her hand through every contraction and push. And when that baby was born I had never been more proud of anything. Olivia told me when she found out she was pregnant that there was a chance the baby wasn't mine. But I loved her anyway. Even before she was born, from the second I found out about her. I didn't want to know. I just figured it didn't matter. As long as I loved her she was mine. And part of me still wants to believe that. Olivia told me that the two of you kissed and she asked you to leave. She….we still want you at the wedding tomorrow. I love her with all of my heart. And this time tomorrow she will be my wife. I need to know that this is not going to happen again."

"It isn't," Elliot said looking across the room at his suitcase. "After the wedding tomorrow I am going back to New York. I want to be a part of Hannah's life. She is my kid, I want to be her father. But I am not going to interfere with your life together. Last night was a mistake. And it will never happen again. But I will be back around here every few weeks or so to see Hannah."

Jack just sat and looked at Elliot. He stood up to leave and as he opened the door he turned back to Elliot. "You broke her heart. When you left her and went back to your wife. It made her almost timid and afraid of love. She finally let me in. I would do anything for her and Hannah. And all I want to do is love them forever." And with that he turned and left.

The next afternoon Elliot was at the church waiting for the wedding. He walked down a hall and knocked on the door to the room where Olivia was getting ready. A moment later she opened the door and let him in.

Across the room was the playpen where little Hannah sat in her ruffly white dress and little white headband. She looked so much like Olivia as she looked up at him with her big brown eyes and cooed and smiled. Elliot kissed her gently then walked over to sit next to Olivia in front of the mirror where she had been sitting before he came in.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi," she said turning to look at him.

"You look so beautiful, Liv. You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen."

She smiled at him and he could tell she was nervous.

"Thank you."

"Listen, I'm not going to be able to stay."

Her eyes shifted to his and began to fill with tears.

"Cragen called this morning…..but that isn't really why I am going back."

They both sat quietly for a minute then Elliot pulled a small gift box from his pocket and placed it on the counter beside her.

"It's for you. I got a wedding gift for both of you, it is out with the other gifts. But this one is just for you."

Olivia looked at him and pressed her lips together as she picked up the box. Inside on a silver chain was a small diamond butterfly pendant. Olivia just watched it as it sparkled and shined.

"It reminded me of you. Butterflies always make me think of you."

She looked at him as her tears began to fall. Elliot leaned in and hugged her tight.

"It is going to be okay, Liv. I understand. I want you to be happy. And Jack is an amazing man. He loves you and Hannah and I couldn't have picked anyone better myself. You look beautiful and you are going to have your dream wedding in about an hour. And he will love you forever, the way you deserve to be loved and give you everything you ever wanted. And we are always going to be best friends. And I will come back here as often as I can to see you and Hannah. And you can come to New York. And everything is going to work out. You'll see. I just can't do it, Liv." He laced his fingers in hers. "That part of me that is still in love with you feels like it is dying. I will be okay as long as I know that you and happy and taken care of. But I can't stay sit here and watch as you marry another man. I just can't. I am sorry."

She was crying and she looked into his eyes.

"Elliot."

"Shhhh….come here." He hugged her again and held her for a second then he kissed the top of her head. "I will see you again in a couple of weeks."

"Yeah." She tried to smile.

Elliot walked over and picked up Hannah as Olivia put on the necklace he had given her. He held the baby and kissed her little forehead. "Daddy loves you baby. You be a good girl for mommy. And I will see you again as soon as I can." He kissed her again.

And as Hannah looked up at him and said her little "ma, ma, ma," Elliot slowly walked out of the room.

Olivia sat alone with her baby girl and cried.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Thirty minutes before time to walk down the aisle and Olivia sat in the little room alone holding her daughter who sat playing with a blush brush. Olivia heard a small tap on the door.

"Liv, look I know I am not supposed to see you before the wedding, but can I come in?" Jacks voice called from the other side of the door.

"Yes," she said softly.

Jack opened the door and quickly stepped inside closing it behind him and locking it to give them privacy.

"I saw Elliot leave. I thought maybe you could use a little company. You look gorgeous."

"Thank you," she said softly trying to hide the fear in her voice.

Jack turned a chair around backward, then picked Hannah up and sat her back into the playpen kissing her gently. He walked back to the chair and sat down beside Olivia taking her hand.

"Tell me what you are thinking," he said softly trying to read the look on her face.

"I don't really know. I'm just nervous, I guess."

"Liv, look at me."

She closed her eyes for a second then turned her head to look at him.

"If you don't want to do this…. It isn't too late to call it off."

She stared at him for a second.

"But your entire family is out there," she whispered softly.

"Baby, look at me for a minute. Think about this. Not everything up to this point, but from right now on. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"You sound like you are trying to talk me out of it."

"No. I just kind of feel like I talked you in to it. I kept pushing you until you said yes. Olivia, I love you. And I love Hannah. But I have to admit the thought of forever scares me a little, too. Don't get me wrong. But I cannot help but wonder if we didn't jump into this a little too fast."

"Yes," she agreed.

"I don't feel like this is the right time for either of us."

Olivia stared at him.

"And I know that you still have feelings for Elliot. He was the love of your life. That is not an easy thing to get over. Olivia, I love you. But I really don't think we should get married. At least not today. I think maybe we should take a little time. And you should figure out whatever this is between you and Elliot. Because I don't want to marry you and always have to wonder if it is really me you are in love with."

Olivia wanted so bad to deny it, but she knew he was right. "Jack, I am so sorry. I didn't realize I still had feelings for him until he came back around."

"Olivia, he will always be around, he is Hannah's father. You can't be married to me and always carry a flame for him."

"I know."

Jack held her hand.

"Go after him. Give it a real try. And if it doesn't workout, you can always find me hanging around the airport trying to pick up women."

She laughed.

"I don't want us to end badly, Jack."

"This is not a bad ending. I care for you, I want you to be happy. And as much as I love you, I am not the one who makes you smile anymore. You should never feel guilty for loving someone Olivia. And as long as you are with me, you feel guilty for caring about him. You are still in love with him."

"Yeah," she admitted out loud for the first time in a long time.

"I would like to still be able to see Hannah. I love her so much, I feel like she is mine."

Olivia smiled. "I'm okay with that. I am sure Elliot would understand."

"Yeah. And we'll stay friends?"

"Okay," she smiled.

Jack brushed back her hair and gently kissed her forehead. He handed her his Jeep keys and squeezed her hand.

"You go out the back. The car seat is in it and it has a full tank. Be careful and keep in touch." He turned to look at the door then back at his watch. "Fifteen minutes. I will stall them until then, give you a little time to get out of town. I'll take care of this." He walked over to Hannah's playpen and picked her up handing her to Olivia. He folded up the playpen for her, then took the baby back in his arms. "Hannah, I love you princess. And I will see you every chance I get to come to New York." He hugged her and kissed her and looked back at Olivia.

She stood up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you for being so understanding."

Jack kissed her on the forehead. "You'd better get going. It is about a twenty seven hour trip by car."

"Yeah," she said.

"Olivia, why don't you fly? I will call and have a ticket for you on the next flight to JFK. It would be a lot faster and safer with the baby."

Olivia thought about it and looked at Hannah. A Twenty seven hour car trip would be really hard on her.

"You are probably right," she said.

"You can come back later and get your stuff."

"Okay. I'm going to run back to the house and pack some clothes and things for the baby."

"I will call you in a little bit with your flight information."

Olivia picked up Hannah on her hip and slid the diaper bag over her shoulder.

"Jack, thank you."

"Anytime." He smiled and she headed for the car.

That night Hannah and Olivia were on a flight back to New York. It was much shorter than driving, but was still about a five hour trip. They were both exhausted when they arrived and Olivia climbed into the back of a cab heading for Elliot's apartment.

She carried a large duffel bag with their clothes, the baby seat with the diaper bag in it and dragged the playpen behind her with Hannah on her hip as she climbed the steps to Elliot's building.

"New Yorkers," she scoffed as the driver pulled away before she was even up the steps.

She got to the door and buzzed Elliot's apartment as it began to rain. But no one answered. She dropped her things on the step and began looking for her phone

"Shit!" She said realizing she had left her purse in the back seat of the cab and didn't have her cell phone.

Hannah began to cry and Olivia pulled off her jacket and wrapped the baby in it. It was dark and cold and she was now soaked and the rain showed no signs of letting up as the thunder began to boom. Olivia held Hannah tight against her covering her the best she could with the jacket as she began to buzz random apartments hoping someone would have a heart and just let them into the building.

It was nearing three o'clock in the morning when Elliot got home. He had been trying to keep himself busy with work trying not to think about Olivia. But so far it wasn't working. He walked in through the dark hall way to his apartment door. He had just put the key in the door and pushed it open turning on the light when he heard a baby cry behind him.

Elliot turned around to see a drenched and exhausted Olivia curled up in the corner with Hannah in her arms. She had actually been sleeping until they baby had cried and woke her. Elliot dropped his keys in the floor and stared at her in disbelief.

"Olivia?"

"El?"

She sat up a little and looked up at him.

Elliot knelt and took the baby from her arms.

"Liv, what are you doing out here in the hall?"

"I don't have a key," she said shaking her head trying not to cry.

Elliot pulled his jacket off and put it around her. Her hair was still soaked and her clothes were, too. He reached for her hand and helped her to her feet as he helped her drag all of their things inside.

Elliot gave Olivia dry clothes to take a hot shower. He fixed Hannah a warm bottle and held her and fed her. He was so glad to see them both. It broke his heart to leave them behind. When Olivia got out of the shower she held the baby while Elliot sat up her playpen and prepared a little bed for her.

He held his daughter and kissed her and laid her into the playpen, within moments she had fallen asleep. She was warm and safe and loved.

"Why don't you take the bed?" He suggested looking into her tired eyes.

Olivia nodded and sat on the edge as she pulled back the blankets.

Elliot sat in the floor next to it and held her hand.

"I am glad you came back, Liv."

"So am I," she whispered as a tear rolled from her cheek onto the pillow.

Elliot leaned up to kiss her. The kiss started out slow and sweet and got more passionate as it progressed.

"I love you, Olivia." He said staring into her eyes. "I always have. I never stopped loving you."

"I love you, too."

Elliot kissed her again and before long they were in bed together making love. It was slow and sweet and amazing, like it had always been between them. Elliot kissed her like she had never been kissed before as he moved his hands over every inch of her soft skin.

They moaned softly together through several orgasms. Neither of them had ever made love like this. And when they were finished, he held her so tight in his arms and gazed into her beautiful brown eyes as they listened to the storm outside. Elliot held her body close to him and made a silent promise to love and protect her always and to never let her go again. Before long they had fallen asleep in each others arms.

The next morning Elliot opened his eyes to see Olivia sleeping beside him in his tee shirt. Between them in the bed sleeping like an angel laid little Hannah, curled up under the blanket with her pacifier in her mouth.

Elliot smiled and kissed the baby girl, his baby girl as he combed his fingers through her hair. He leaned over and kissed Olivia gently on the forehead as he eyes fluttered open to look in to his.

She smiled at him.

He smiled back and looked back down at Hannah. "I could wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life and I would be the happiest man in the world."

"Yeah?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah. I have the woman I love more than life and our baby girl right here with me. There is nothing else I need."

"Is your alarm set?"

Elliot reached over and shut it off so it wouldn't wake the baby.

"Nope."

Olivia smiled at him as he laced his fingers in hers.

Elliot picked up his phone and called Cragen to take a personal day. He closed the phone and they went back to sleep for a few hours, the three of them there together.

A few hours later Hannah woke up again and Olivia sat up and nursed her for a little while. She carried her into the kitchen where Elliot was making her favorite pancakes for breakfast and they sat on a barstool at the counter to watch. At breakfast Elliot fed his daughter her very first bite of pancake. She cooed and smiled and giggled.

After breakfast they all got dressed. Elliot called the cab company so they could get Olivia's purse back. Then they made a surprise visit to the precinct to introduce their daughter to everyone.

Olivia carried Hannah as they walked inside.

"Elliot, I thought you needed a personal day," Cragen said as he walked into the bullpen.

"I did," he replied as Olivia stepped in behind him.

"Oh my God," Cragen said hugging Olivia. "Look at you! And she has to be yours."

Olivia smiled as Cragen picked Hannah up.

"Hey, pretty girl," he cooed to her as he looked up at Olivia. "She is beautiful, Liv. What is her name?"

"Hannah."

"Well, hello Hannah."

Cragen looked back up at Olivia. "You know, we all worried about you."

"I didn't do so well at keeping in touch. I'm sorry."

"I figured that was where you were headed when you took your sabbatical," he said looking at Elliot.

Cragen looked back at Olivia. "You know that is the first time I have seen him smile since before you left."

Olivia laughed.

"Well, I have a lot to smile about," Elliot replied. He put his arm around Olivia and kissed the back of her head. "I got my girls back."

Cragen looked up at them, "so you two are finally a couple, huh? Well, it's about time."

"Actually…." Olivia started looking up at Elliot.

"That is my daughter you are holding," Elliot offered up to Cragen.

"Really?"

"Lucky for her she gets her looks from her mother," a voice from behind them said.

"John Munch," Olivia said with a smile as she turned around.

"Hi, Liv." She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Oh my gosh, Fin!" Olivia reached out to hug him.

"It's good to have you back Olivia."

"You are back, right?" Munch asked.

"Well, I kind of left Denver last minute and came here." She turned and looked at Cragen.

"I still have a position open. Now it isn't for a Senior Detective and the guy I'm needing a partner for is apparently picky and hard to work with." He looked up at Elliot.

Olivia smiled.

"Actually, I would have to do a little rearranging to cover all of our butts. But if you want to come back Olivia we would all be glad to have you."

"I would love to. I have missed this place and all of you guys so much. This is home to me."

Elliot kissed the top of her head again. "Welcome home, Liv."

"I'll probably stick you with Fin and put Elliot and John together. I'm sorry, but I can't put the two of you back together if you are involved."

"That is fine. Fin and I work pretty well together."

"Hey, thanks partner!"

"We'll probably need a few days to get her settled. We need to make a trip back to Denver to all of her things moved back."

"Can you start back next week?"

"Yeah."

Before going home they decided to stop by Kathy's and let the kids meet their baby sister.

"Are you sure Kathy isn't going to freak out?"

"Kathy and I still get along really well. I went and talked to her before I left for Denver. I told her I was going to find you. I also told her that you were the one I had a relationship with while she and I were separated and that I was still in love with you. She said she thought I should go find you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Kathy and I are good."

"You know, we are going to have to put Hannah in daycare if we are both working." Olivia looked at Elliot with concern.

"Kathy might be able to help us out there, too. She is laid off from work right now and staying home with Eli for a while. She probably wouldn't care to keep her. And that would give Kathy a little extra income."

"As long as you trust her. You don't think she would mind?"

"We will talk to her."

"Okay." Olivia smiled and Elliot kissed her.

Kathy agreed to watch Hannah and she and the kids adored her. Hannah laughed and played with Eli and it was nice to see her interacting with her brothers and sisters.

That night after dinner Elliot moved the playpen into the spare bedroom and set up the baby monitors so that mommy and daddy could have a little privacy.

Olivia called and made an appointment for the movers to pick up her things at the house. Two days later, Elliot, Olivia and Hannah flew back to Denver and packed up her things and then flew back to meet the movers to unload the boxes.

A few nights later after finally getting Hannah's nursery set up and her asleep in her crib for the first time in over a week. Elliot and Olivia settled in for bed.

Elliot rolled over and looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Liv."

"I love you, too."

He laced his fingers with hers. "I'm not trying to rush things and I think we need to take a little time before we move forward with this, but you know I want to marry you, right?"

She looked at him and smiled. "I would love to marry you, Elliot. I just kind of want to take this slow for a while. I'm in no hurry. I am home and I am staying here. Me and Hannah."

"I got my girls back," he whispered and kissed her lips.

"You know we are going to need a bigger place?"

"I was thinking about that. I know this really great apartment in Manhattan. Has a great view from the private roof access. Last I checked it was vacant."

Olivia smiled.

"I wonder if it is still open."

"We can call tomorrow and check with the real estate agency."

"I love you, Elliot."

"I love you, too." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

She turned out the light and pulled her tee shirt off and tossed it into the floor and they made love for hours.

"God, I missed you," she whispered against his hear as she clawed down his back and he thrust inside her. She tipped her head back and moaned as they finished together. Falling breathless in each others arms.

"I missed you too," Elliot said as he laughed and kissed her lips.

He held her tight in his arms as she rested her head against his chest.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. And I am never going to leave you again. It is you and me forever. You and me and Hannah and any other babies we may decide to have down the road."

"El, you have six kids. Do you really want more?"

"With you? Are you kidding? Look how beautiful she is. I wouldn't mind having a dozen beautiful babies with you."

"I don't know about a dozen," she laughed. "Maybe one or two more. Later down the road. I'd like to get her out of diapers first."

"Yeah. And I would really like for us to be married before we have any more babies."

Olivia smiled.

"El?"

"Yeah, baby."

"I can't wait to spend forever with you."

He kissed the top of her head.

"Me either sweetheart."

And with that the drifted off to sleep in each others arms.


End file.
